


Shades of Forgivness

by Fandom_girl21



Series: Repentance Tour [1]
Category: Der Himmel über Berlin | Wings of Desire (1987), Lucifer (TV), Supernatural
Genre: Chuck is God, Dysfunctional Family, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Family Issues, Family Secrets, Fluff, Team as Family, Tooth Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-10 14:14:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 35,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6988252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandom_girl21/pseuds/Fandom_girl21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amara and Chuck go on their vacation.</p><p>Sibling bonding ensues. And what Chuck assumes will be archangel angst when he gets around to bringing them back...eventually.</p><p>Till then,</p><p>"Hey Sis want to go on a road trip?"</p><p>"Only if we can take Toto with us."</p><p>"Your attachment to the dog is worrying."</p><p>"Shh, he could <i>hear</i> you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where in they go to the beach and Amara has a Piña Colada while they pick up where they left off with Dean.

Amara settled down onto the blanket, she sighed as the sun hit her back.

"Here."

She turned and took the glass Chuck offered. A Piña colada he had said.

Chuck offered a small smile as he sat down next to her.

She took a sip of her drink and smiled,

"It's sweet."

He smiled wider.

"Yeah, I thought you'd like something sweet... Souls would've been bitter."

She nodded,

"They were."

They both sat staring at the waves.

"I wasn't trying to replace you."

He whisped, her face softened.

He looked up at her and back at the waves,

"I could never— it was all hollow. It all felt— I wanted to share everything I created with someone. It was lonely."

She smiled, the tears falling silently down her face. She pulled him close. He sighed circling his arms around her.

"Thank you for finally seeing the beauty I did."

"I just wish I had seen it sooner."

"We have infinite moments left for you to catch up. We'll get there. Together."

He added looking up at her, she beamed.

"Together."

She whispered back. They settled back to watching the waves, feeling closer than they had been in eons.


	2. Ice Cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where in they get Ice Cream and Amara flirts with a tall, dark, handsome, stranger.

A few months had passed since their Vacation, or Reconciliation Tour as Amara had dubbed since Chuck kept dragging her places.

She curled into the double papasan chair and turned the page to her book, Alice in Wonderland. She liked Alice, she was spunky.

Since they both had come back to The Bar she had redecorated. Keeping the bar itself, but changing most of the booths to rows of books with two huge windows for light. Her chair faced one of the windows. The sun rays hitting her neck with a soft warmth.

Her hand absentmindedly went to the crook of her knees where Toto was nestled. She scratched behind his ear for a moment. A small smile blooming as she felt Toto tail begin to wag hard.

She heard the door open but didn't look up, Alice had finally found the Red Queen's castle.

"So I got us Pizzas and sodas. I was thinking of watching a movie while we eat."

Chuck said as he set the food down at the bar. He went to where Amara was sitting. He bent down to Toto's level and beamed.

"Hey Toto! How ya doing buddy?"

"I think he misses Metatron."

Chuck hummed in acknowledgement.

"Or he's just lonely— hey! I know what we can do! We can get him a friend! A little puppy of your own!"

Amara marked her page and uncurled from the sofa and stretched.

"Alright but I want one that will never die."

Chuck gave her a look of confusion, she shrugged.

"You have your angels, I want a puppy."

"So will it be a puppy all the time or will it grow?"

She shrugged again as she looked at the bags and willed them to unpack themselves. They did.

She turned back to her brother as he leaned down to pet the dog.

"I'm not sure yet."

"You know what it's going to look like?"

She gave a mischievous smile as Chuck looked up at her. He grinned.

"Oh now I'm excited to meet this new family member."

"You should, he will be perfect."

The seed of an age old competition spirit threatened to rear its ugly head then as they stared at each other. But they both only smiled and squashed it. They were tired of competing.

"So what's the movie?"

Chuck rose and clapped his hands.

"Classics! So um either—"

"How about something happy, play your favorite."

She added gently. She didn't want him to dance on eggshells around her. He swallowed and relaxed.

"Well I wanted to show you classics. And since your reading Alice in wonderland—"

"There's a movie?"

Her excitement made him beam.

"Yeah."

"How about I finish reading it while we eat and then we can watch the movie?"

He nodded, they sat to eat in one of the last remaining booths left. They sat next to each other. Their shoulders brushing relaxing both of them. It wasn't a dream, they were together again. This was real.

She closed the book as Chuck finished the last of his soda. She narrowed her eyes at his sparkling essence.

"What?"

"Have you ever had ice cream?"

She rolled her eyes, though a smile slipped on her face as she felt her brother began to wind around her. She shook her head and laughed. Standing she huffed amusedly,

"Fine."

Chuck appeared corporeal again, and offered his hand to her.

"I know the perfect place!"

She took his hand and they appeared in front of a small cottage in the woods.

He shook his head his eyes wide, as she recoiled.

"It's the best ice cream place! I promise."

"Brother while I'm believe your promises again, surely there are other places with better...hygiene than this?"

Chuck shook his head,

"Am— Sister, trust me. This is the best ice cream you will ever have."

She sighed, stifling the cry of surprise as he pulled her inside and all the way to the counter.

He didn't let her hand go, though he did loosen his grip. She gently removed it as she turned to examine the flavors. He rested on his elbows and stared up at the menu.

_"Can I order for you?"_

He asked between them, she didn't startle but she did stiffen. Minutely. They had gotten much better at testing each other's boundaries and relaxing into a maybe old or better rhythm. Still his suddenness for some things took her off guard.

His corporeal form looked calm, but his essence was twisting around itself. The milkiness coalescing and dispersing at the speed of sound.

_"Sure. Though make it sweet."_

She responded, her corporeal form hadn't wavered or changed, but her essence reached out relaxing his agitation.

_"Will do."_

He whispered something to the clerk that had come to ask for orders, he gave her a cup of white ice cream with a riot of other colors swirling around inside it. She raised her eyebrow at it, he only grinned and walked to a table at the far right of the little eatery.

Before she could take a bite, he placed his hand over hers. She looked up in confusion,

He snapped his fingers and two candles appeared lit, one in each of theirs.

"To new beginnings."

He said.

"To new beginnings and old friends."

She added.

"To new beginnings and old friends."

He agreed.

They blew out the candles, extinguishing them and their existence. They dug into the little bowls they had.

_"This is very good."_

He stilled, his essence in shock, her coalness rolled and twisted around itself. Their corporeal forms continued to eat.

_"It is very good. So I'm assuming you like the flavor?"_

Her coalness relaxed as he intwined around her.

" _Yes, it's very good."_

Their conversation tapered off as they decided to keep their awareness to the delicious food in front of them.

They heard the bell jingle and the slam of a door, the clipped sound of boots walking toward the register made them both look up.

_"Mine."_

They both decided.

_"He's way out of your league."_

Chuck scoffed,

_"Oh please, like he'd be interested in you."_

_"I'm irresistible."_

She reminded him as she smiled and caught his blue eyes.

_"He's beautiful."_

Chuck intoned softly,

Amara brushed over him in agreement,

_"So beautiful."_

"Hey, celebrating anything gorgeous?"

asked the man nodding toward the ice cream flavor. Amara leaned away from the table her eyes fluttered,

"New beginnings handsome. What about you? Celebrating anything?"

He cracked a smile, as he straddled the back of one of the chair at their table.

"Maybe. I could be celebrating getting a date with you."

Chuck rolled his eyes as Amara giggled.

"Hmm, that depends what can you offer me?"

The man leaned closer,

"An adventure."

She smirked as she leaned toward him,

"Oh I love adventures."

Chuck hid his smile as he ducked his head. She loathed adventures.

"Well doll I wish I could give you one now. But I have to go, here call me."

He scrawled his number on a spare napkin before rising and getting and his ice cream. As he left he sent them both a smile and winked at her.

She gave a cutesy smile, only for it drop off as she smirked at Chuck.

She slid the number toward him.

"One."

"Oh you sure you want to play?"

"Play? Brother I'm winning."

"You're on."

They shook on it, both of them giggling. This was going to be fun.


	3. Hiking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Amara jokes about their age, they go hiking and meet a friend.

Amara scrolled through her laptop at the booth. She waved her hand changing the music to a an upbeat Pop station.

Chuck huffed.

"Why do you need to use that?"

"Just because we're older than time itself doesn't mean we need to act like it."

"It's like 20 years at the most! And it runs fine!"

Chuck spluttered.

She only hummed, raising the volume. Chuck huffed and slid in next to her.

"So what are you looking at?"

"Your world."

"It could be ours."

He rested his head on her shoulder, his arms going around her. He was being a bit more clingy than usual.

She smiled softly.

"Maybe. One day."

Her cursor stopped, hovering over a picture of a forest trail. It was all the warning Chuck got before they stood at the foot of a winding pathway.

Chuck smiled and moved away,

"So you found something to show me?"

"Nature. It's one of my favorite things you've created."

He beamed,

"Thanks, mine too. Now I'm assuming the view is worth it?"

She grinned at him, 

"It is. Race you?"

"Corporeal?"

She nodded. He grinned and they were off. Racing through the trees, weaving between unsuspecting humans at the speed of sound.

They both stopped at the mouth of a cave a little ways away from the beaten path. Something drawn them to it. Chuck tried to peer through the inky blackness.

"I can't see?"

Amara ran her hand through his hair at his look of confusion. Hiding her amusement.

"It's not suppose to be seen through. Perhaps it's—"

"Do you sense that?"

She closed her eyes, a faint trace of power.

"Something lives here."

"What? Have you both forgotten me so soon?"

Chuck and Amara turned to see a man in black skinny jeans, a leather jacket, and dark boots. His neck and wrists were adorned with jewelry. Rings glistened on his hand as he waved at Amara.

"Hey beautiful. How's the world been treating you? Heard you finally forgave him."

She smiled,

"Erebus."

They hugged, their tendrils of power dancing at the contact.

Chuck looked on smiling as he leaned against the edge of the cave.

"So you both doing anything in the oncoming future?"

Amara shook her head,

"Relaxing mostly, getting reacquainted,"

Chuck loosely laced their fingers together, she turned to him and smiled.

She turned back to Erebus,

"Why?"

"Well Eros is throwing a party, everyone's coming."

Chuck grimaced, 

"Not that it matters, but the younger ones are a little too volatile."

Erebus smirked and shook his head,

"Yeah I know, don't worry only the original ones are coming. It's exclusive. So you two in?"

Chuck came to stand next to her, they both shared a glance and looked at Erebus and smiled.

"Count us in brother."

Erebus grinned,

"Alright little Light! I knew you had it in you. Here's the address. Feel free to bring some of that Heavenly Scotch. Kronos is bringing Ambrosia and Yaunshi is bringing GO.

"Yes! I need to rematch Nyx she cheated the last time we played."

Amara crossed her arms and looked at her brother with a raised eyebrow,

"You sure brother?"

Chuck stuck out his tongue.

Erebus chuckled,

"Glad the world didn't end. Still finding new places to have some fun. Now the party is on Saturday. It's at Bermuda so... Dress appropriately."

He winked at Amara as she rolled her eyes,

"Careful I might get ideas and Eros will get jealous."

Erebus smiled wider and winked,

"Nah, he'll be happy he has a dance partner again. See you both."

He vanished. Amara looked on amused as her brother began to chuckle.

"Who would have thought? It feels like no time has passed."

He froze and he turned to her, the weight of his words began to suffocate them. Till Amara smiled and pulled him into a hug.

"Yeah it seems like that sometimes."

They both turned to see the sun begin to set on top of the mountain.

Chuck pulled her closer,

"Don't break on me brother."

"Never. I just missed this. I missed you."

"Now I'm here, I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

"Okay."

He whispered as the night flared around them.

"Do you like them?"

"The stars?"

"Yes."

"Yes I do."

"I created them for you."

"You create the stars for me?"

"Yes. I liked to imagine you draped in diamonds and sapphires."

They lay down staring the stars.

"Well maybe you won't have to imagine it anymore."

Chuck rolled onto his elbows,

"Are you going to buy a dress?"

She shrugged leaning against a tree trunk.

"Maybe, I'll need to tell Eros to add a formal event if I do."

"Buy one. I can wear a suit then."

She eyed him skeptically,

"You used to hate to dress up."

"Yeah but I'll do it for you."

She rolled her eyes.

"You're incorrigible."

Chuck came to sit on her side, his knees tucked under him.

"You love me."

She leaned and kissed his cheek,

"That I do."


	4. Autobiography

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Amara and Chuck argue over need of Metatron and Dean saves the world _again_.

"I'm reviving Metatron."

Said Chuck as they sat in the grass with Toto.

Amara eyes turned to him,

"Shouldn't you be phrasing that as a question?"

"Why?"

"Because I killed him."

"He's my scribe."

She scoffed looking up at the sky,

"So?"

"So give him back."

"No."

"No?"

She turned back to look at him,

"No."

There was an edge now, a reminder of the bad blood between them.

He pushed onward regardless,

"I'm not going the rest of our existence without my scribe."

"Make a new one."

"No. I want him. He's good. We have a rapport."

He was bordering on petulance now. He glared at her,

"Why do you need him anyway?"

"I was writing an autobiography, I need his help to finish it."

"Can I read it?"

"No."

They glared at each other.

"Why not?"

"Because you'd destroy it."

She widened her eyes.

"Is that still how you think of me?"

He rolled his eyes and settled on the grass, his arms crossed behind his head by way of answer.

She vanished. He turned and rolled his eyes.

"Drama queen."

Thunder rumbled. He glared at it. Adding lightning. He appeared on the sidewalk as the Winchesters were walking.

"Chuck? Uh? What's wrong?"

He turned and schooled his features into a smile,

Shrug of nonchalance? Check.

Easy smile? Check.

" _Charlatan_."

She hissed in his ear. He barely stopped himself from breaking his act.

"I just wanted to check in, make sure everything's swell?"

They exchange a glance.

"Well since you're hear?"

He jammed his hands into his pocket, nodding.

"Yeah. Sure. Where are we going?"

"Motel."

He nodded,

"I'll meet you there."

He snapped them to the motel and glared at the sky.

"At least I can act."

He smiled as the store front lights flickered. He appeared in the motel room. He raised an eyebrow and looked around.

"It's bigger than the ones you boys usually get."

"Uh yeah, Chuck meet my mom."

Chuck turned from the bedroom to look at the kitchen. He smiled.

"Hey Mary."

"And uh can you tell your sister thank you?"

Dean asked averting his eyes. Chuck softened. He reached out. Expecting to see her messing with the stars again, he came up blank. Panic surged through him.

They'd been doing so well. Where was she?

"Shit."

Mary looked at him confused,

"Something wrong?"

"It's Amara. We got into an argument and went our separate ways to cool off. And I can't find her—"

He began to pace.

"Dude what the hell? I don't want to save the universe a second time."

Dean exploded at him as Sam alternating between glaring at him and shooting Dean shocked glances.

Chuck ignored them, calling out to her again. He wasn't worried about the universe. She wouldn't destory it out of spite. He hoped. He missed her now. He'd forgotten how it had been. How much he relied on her.

He sighed and sank into a chair.

"What we're you two fighting about?"

Asked Mary.

"Metatron. I want him back, she doesn't. And I can't bring him back without her agreement since she has his soul."

Mary gave Dean a sharp look, he stopped glaring at him.

She sat down across from him.

"Do you know why?"

Chuck shrugged,

"Probably just to be annoying."

Wind shook the motel. He glared out the window.

"Oh bite me."

"Chuck I don't think taunting her is the best idea."

"The universe is safe Dean, jeez cut her some slack. She did bring your mother back."

Chuck's glare made Dean shrink away. Fear came off the humans in waves. The wind subsided. The sky looked clearer.

Mary observed it first,

"She's listening. See? The sky is lighter now."

Chuck shrugged,

"Yeah I know she's listening. She's just not responding."

The wind picked up, Chuck waved his hand. Buffering it away from the motel.

Mary sighed,

"Why don't you recount the conversation to me."

He gave her a look.

"Why?"

She shrugged,

"I've settled enough of Sam and Dean's arguments to understand siblings."

He stilled,

"We're not Sam and Dean."

"No but you're family. Humor me."

He sighed,

"Fine. I wanted Metatron back, she said no. I asked why she got hissy and left."

No response from outside.

Dean sighed,

Chuck knew better,

"You know that's what happened."

" _Liar_."

She whispered in his ear. He glared at the window.

"I'm not lying!"

He reached out again and felt nothing. But there was a shift. He couldn't sense her at all now. Not even her presence. His metaphorical heart began to beat faster.

"Chuck? You're uh sounding a little insane."

Ventured Sam quietly.

Mary butted in before he could do snap at him.

"Did you ask her or tell her?"

Chuck blinked thinking back on the conversation.

"Told."

Mary gave a pointed look,

Chuck shook his head,

"This isn't the first thing we've argued since reconciling. She wouldn't have left because of that."

"Well what else did you say?"

Chuck thought back, Metatron, autobiographies, she had asked to see it, he had said no... Oh Fuck.

He looked up at the window with wide eyes. His voice soft.

"You actually didn't think I meant that did you? Come on Amara I was being mean. Amara I'm sorry. I know you've changed. I—"

"You sure you know that?"

"Sister!"

Chuck lunged from his chair. Pulling Amara to him. She blinked, hugging him back. She looked at him confused when he didn't let go.

"What's wrong with you?"

"I-I couldn't sense you. And I didn't feel you ward yourself. I thought-I got nervous."

"I would never abandon you brother."

He squeezed her harder for a moment longer before pulling away.

"Why? You would have every right to."

She shrugged ruffling his hair,

"If I abandoned you, this creation would suffer. And I like it too much for that to happen."

He beamed and ducked away,

"Right for the sake of creation."

Dean unfroze first,

"You two fought over Metatron? Seriously??"

Chuck shrugged,

"We fought over the need for human appendices last week. Honestly Metatron was one of the more common sense arguments we've had."

Chuck turned to her suddenly shy,

"So on that note do you want to bring Metatron back?"

Her face schooled back into a mask,

"I read your autobiography."

"Oh... And?"

And am I running for my life? And am I going to have to grovel on my knees?

"I'm bringing him back,"

Chuck sagged in relief. Amara continued.

"If only because my story deserves to be heard and Metatron is a good editor."

They appeared in the bar. Chuck sighed and sank down into the booth. His computer and her laptop ready and waiting for them.

She sat down across from him,

"You know I didn't mean to say those things."

"Technically it was what you didn't say."

"Can you let me apologize to you?"

"I don't know? Can I?"

Chuck inwardly groaned, this was her new favorite game. Force him to remember his manners. It was exhausting.

"May I?"

He gritted out,

She nodded motioning for him to continue.

"Look I'm sorry I was being childish. You know I don't really mean those things."

The hard line of her mouth softened.

"I know." She said softly.

"Let's just lay off on the jokes about that for now okay?"

He nodded, he could do that.

"Too soon?"

She chuckled,

"Yes."

He could feel as she got ready to bring Metatron's soul back.

"Wait. Do you want to uh write one together?"

She stilled,

"Write what?"

"An autobiography?"

She looked at him for a long moment,

"Really? What brought this on. I thought you wanted to tell your story?"

He shrugged reaching for hand.

"I think it's better if we tell our story."

She continued to stare at him,

He let out a harsh sigh.

"And because my autobiography was going no where, I mean it was interesting but there was no conflict no juiciness."

She tangled their fingers.

"We'll do alternate chapters."

His eyes light up, this was going to be fun.


	5. Reminder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Chuck surprises Amara with a present and Metatron is forced to endure a rollercoaster of emotion as a consequence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: references to suicicde, suicicdal thoughts, and sacrificial murder.

Metatron looked over their manuscript and almost cried — it was beautiful.

Amara looked over the lid of her laptop at him her eyebrow raised,

"Something wrong?"

Metatron shook his head,

"It's beautiful. It's really, really good. Did you help him write this?"

She nods with a smile.

"Yeah she might put you out of business Metatron."

Said God appearing next to her, he positively beamed at her. Metatron looked down, it was so intimate.

Amara smiled back, though it definitely wasn't as bright. Metatron did notice that she tangled their hands together instead, maybe as an apology. Chuck smiled wider if possible.

"Y—but. Sister come on! It would be cool! What do you think Metatron?"

The siblings turned to him and not for the first time did Metatron feel like a deer caught between high beams.

"Uh? What?"

Chuck sighed exasperated, Amara shook her head smiling and pulled her hand away to scroll through her computer again. Chuck seemed to keep forgetting that Metatron wasn't able to listen to their conversations. Their thoughts.

"It's like angel radio Metatron, almost exactly like it actually."

Metatron blinked,

Chuck smiled,

"Where did you think I got the idea?"

"Did you read my thoughts?"

Chuck shrugged,

"Sorry they're loud."

He flinched as Amara flicked a peanut from nowhere at him. Her eyes never leaving the computer, only her small smile betraying her.

"Hey! That wasn't an excuse or a lie! His thoughts are loud! I know you can hear them."

"Just because I can, doesn't mean I care to listen them."

"Well not ev — I wasn't being paranoid. His op — you know he doesn't — can't you just agree with me this once?"

Amara looked up at him with an amused smile,

"This once? You sure you want to cash that card in— I'm not being obstinate— it's not my — oh please, don't be so melodramatic."

She rolled her eyes as she went back to the laptop.

Metatron inwardly groaned rubbing his temples. He swore they did that just to give him a headache.

"Not always. Sometimes its easier to say things out loud so he can understand when he's being ridiculous."

Chuck's smile didn't dim though he rolled his eyes. He kissed her cheek,

"At last you see how fun it is."

Amara shook her head with a sigh,

"You said you had a present for me?"

Chuck snaps his fingers.

A box of velvet appeared before them. Amara looked from it to him in question. He gestured for her to open it.

She did so hesitantly. Opening it she gasped, her smile wide and bright.

"Do you like it?"

Again Metatron had the urge to look away, this wasn't the God, the Father he'd known. This was her little brother. The one who created this all not to just to prove a point but to gain her approval.

She nodded,

"It's beautiful. Did you make it?"

He smiled sheepishly and shook his head,

"A human. I costumed ordered i — do you not like it? I can make something else if you want."

For once Metatron could follow the conversation and he didn't like where this was going. Amara gave him a look, but she shook her head looking at her brother,

"I don't hate it—"

"Then what's the problem?"

Instead of anger Chuck actually seemed sad, broken.

"It's just, I don't want to wear it if you won't wear the other."

Metatron craned to see only to feel himself being slammed back into the booth. Amara eyes swept over him coldly.

Chuck stilled.

"Why would you get the idea I wouldn't wear it?"

Amara shrugged,

"You were never one for jewelry."

Chuck hand came to cover hers. His fingers griped hers.

"I never had a reason to, but now I do. I want to commemorate this occasion."

He paused.

"I never want to lose sight of what's important to me again. What should be any—"

Her eyes softened, she looked close to tears.

"Hush, you've made your point."

Chuck shook his head, he looked so close to breaking.

"Why didn't you kill me? Why? I wouldn't have blamed you. I would have understood."

"Same reason you didn't kill me when you had the chance. I love you too much to live without you."

"But I did! I lived, I created, I—"

The words abruptly ended. Chuck looked to be shaking, his body going in and out of focus. His skin coming and going in smoke.

"Brother."

A plea, an understanding, all rolled into one. Her hand cupped his cheek.

Chuck shook his head, sudden light made Metatron shield his eyes. When he looked back Amara and he were alone.

"Where did he go?"

Amara sighed and shook her head. She looked up from the box and held up two pendants. Yin and Yang. Of course that would be what he got her. The Yin looked to have little bit of shine that was fast fading.

"Why is— did he go in there??"

Amara nodded with a smile,

"He does that when he's very upset. Hides and makes himself small."

Metatron looked perplexed,

"He never did—"

"From being God where did he go? To a human. That's going small."

Metatron closed his mouth, they both gazed at the pendants still dangling from Amara's hand.

"But why inside it? Or did—"

Amara shook her head,

"He hides and becomes the thing he hides in. So he's as much inside the pendant as he is the pendant."

Metatron supposed it was easier to understand when the example was God to human rather than God to pendant.

"When will he come back?"

Amara shrugged,

"I don't know."

"Can't you like chase after him?"

Amara looked at him as if he'd just suggested it'd be a good idea to murder Dean and stuff him like an animal.

"He wants his space so I'll give it to him."

The pendant glided back and forth slowly. Metatron looked at it strangely, Amara it seemed was well versed in this see sawing.

"You don't want me to leave you alone?"

The pendant stopped in midair.

Amara nodded,

"Okay."

"Can you guys still talk telepathically?"

Amara nodded,

"Though we're not at the moment."

He voice dipped almost as if she was talking to herself.

"Though I can barley feel you. Don't do that. You're not the only one who missed our connection."

The pendant flared so bright Metatron felt his eye water. Where were those damn glasses when he needed them?

"What is he saying?"

"Nothing."

"So why the light show?"

Amara shrugged putting both necklaces around her neck.

"I don't kn—"

The light suddenly went out. She seemed to sigh and shake her head,

"Idiot."

She muttered out loud.

"He didn't think I'd wear his."

"What did he think you'd do with it?"

"Hide it, hold it close to me maybe."

Amara went back to her laptop, their conversation effectively over.

Metatron went to get food he felt awkward leaving her alone even if she technically wasn't alone.

"Do you want to come with me?"

She shook her head, she sent him a soft smile.

"No thank you nephew. Though do call me when you are ready to come back?"

Metatron nodded and with the wave of her hand he was outside a Gas n' Sip. He had a lot of things to get, but first things first. Toto deserved some treats.

He came back and paused at the door, the bags rustling.

Chuck paced as Amara sat watching him. Their words floated to him. Either his sense of hearing had improved in the two hours he was away or they were letting him listen.

He decided to take the chance and slip inside placing the bags on the bar. He sat down as discreetly as he could.

"You don't think I never had those thoughts?"

Chuck shook his head,

"It's not that. I just..."

He stilled and stared at her, his hands clasped behind his back. Trying to make himself appear like God in front of her no doubt.

"You must have known I still loved you?"

It came more of a question than a statement. Chuck eyes welled with tears again.

"Let me hear."

He whisper, she shook her head.

"I'll tell you, but you can't run or hide."

He nodded,

"I didn't. I had doubt. If you had why lock me away? Why leave me?"

He stared at her,

"I did love you. If I hadn't I would have done it sooner, I would have hurt you. I didn't, I — isn't that enough justification for you?"

She smiled warily,

"What about you? Do you still love me after I tried to kill you?"

"Of course."

Metatron blinked, no hesitation. None.

"Of course I love you. I told you I know why you did it, I know why—"

"And I've come to understand — barley — but understand nonetheless why you needed to create this. Why you needed to make this. There's a beauty, a peace here we didn't have."

He nodded,

"Your holding back. We agreed nothing is off limits. Tell me."

Annoyance crossed her face at the order. She looked pained but said the words anyway,

"My doubts of your love have subdued partially because you feel so guilty. I can tell it weighs on you."

"It always will."

"I wish I could take it away."

"It's a reminder, a burden to take with me for the rest of—"

"Will you wear this now?"

He shook his head, Metatron tried to roll his eyes discreetly. Honestly these two.

"If you won't I won't."

He stands in front of her suddenly a moment before as far as he could get from. She dangles the necklaces in her hand.

"You have to, I got it for you."

She smiles,

"Why?"

Chuck stared at her, even with little grace as Metatron had he could feel his father's power crackle.

"Because I got it for you."

"I know, but you said it was a reminder of something, what was it?"

"You know."

"Metatron doesn't, probably was too engrossed in your autobiography chapter to pay much attention to us. Tell him."

Metatron's eyes widened, she was ordering him, appealing to his ego. Chuck stood there, Metatron could just make out his profile. He looked pissed.

"It is a reminder to never forget what I love."

He finally grited out. She noded seemingly satisfied,

"So here, wear this."

She holds out the white one toward him.

"I know you're not that stupid."

"Let it be a reminder for you that you have me. That you have to learn to forgive yourself or you'll never be able to live with yourself."

"What if that's for the best?"

Metatron's blood runs cold. Father wouldn't? He couldn't be... He was God. But Amara doesn't seem the least bit surprised, she looks like she actually understands.

"That's what I thought till you forgave me and I've never felt happier."

Chuck doesn't look convinced, Metatron suddenly notices they're not touching. Not even accidentally. He furrows his brow, these two orbited each other like stars. One was always skimming their finger over the other, or if not doing that there was the stray kisses pressed to hair, to cheeks. This might be the longest they've gone without it since they reconciled, at least to Metatron's knowledge.

It wasn't nauseating yet. Most likely because this connection they had was probably far deeper.

If he remembered the time before Lucifer's fall correctly, the closer two angels were the more deeper their their connection of grace was. It felt wonderful. He even knew a couple of angels who were so close they could see out of each other's eyes when apart. So yeah he had some idea of the agony it must be to cut off from each other.

But if he'd learned anything in the few short weeks since he's back, they're both stubborn. And hate to lose to each other. With that new information it was no wonder things went the way it did.

"Brother don't. You promised."

"No I promised not to run or hide, I never said I wouldn't hide my thoughts."

Metatron stifled a laugh, never mind. Of course they were still talking in their connection.

"I remember hearing humans saying this phrase..."

She pretended to think, her finger tapping her chin, Chuck's stare burning into the side of her head. He crossed his arms, shifting his weight.

"Oh right, it gets better."

Chuck cracks a smile but says nothing. She sighs.

"Chuck just try. Try for me? Give it a couple of hundred years. If you still haven't changed your mind than I'll drop it."

Chuck narrowed his eyes, his weight shifted — toward her. Like a sunflower to a sun, or matter to a blackhole.

"What will you be doing for the next couple of hundred years?"

She shruged and looked at him as if the answer isn't obvious,

"Trying to convince you you're wrong."

Chuck snorted,

"Good luck. You didn't do it before."

Her eyes flashed, Metatron shrinked back, her power all at once foreign and familiar. It feels like his but _wrong_.

Chuck turns to look at him, his eyes holding the fire of a thousand suns.

_"Watch your tongue."_

Metatron cringes.

"Brother leave Metatron alone, he's too easy a target, even for you."

Chuck glares back at her, she meets his stare with a mask of careful indifference.

"You won't be able to convince me."

Amara shrugged,

"Dean managed to convince us in a matter of days. If he continues to pick life after all the pain he's gone through surely you can as well. You're stronger than him anyway."

"My strength has nothing to do with my mind. With what I want, with what I _wish_ for."

Chuck's voice broke, his hand coming to hold onto the edge of the booth in an effort to steady himself.

Metatron can feel himself begin to unravel. This can't be happening.

"And if I wished for it? If I begged you to do it sans the elimination of reality would you?"

Chuck collapsed to his knees now. Still they don't touch. He shook his head, his voice thick with emotion.

"No I couldn't."

"Why?"

"Don't make me answer that."

"Why?"

There's more force now, more prodding. Chuck folds.

"Because I'm _selfish_ okay! because either alive or locked away I need you.  I need to know your there. I can't stay in a world without you."

"And you think I can stay in a world without you? Without knowing you're somewhere, knowing you're at the very least existing."

Chuck shook his head,

"You've done it before, you can do it again. You're strong — the strongest person I've ever known."

There's a stroke of awe in his voice now. The little brother that thought his sister was his world, who still did. Who saw her as his Superhero.

She shook her head, Metatron wiped his eyes. He's sobbing.

"We are moments apart. We are twins. We exist for and with each other no matter how far apart we drift. We will always come back to each other. I can't exist without you. Please, _please don't make me."_

Her emotions bleed though. She's begging — pleading with him now. Metatron's shaking, their pain filling up the room suffocating him, drowning him. Not that either of them are paying attention. Not when their other half is in so much pain.

Chuck stared up at her.

"Okay."

He whispers. Relief and something akin to disbelief intwining through his voice.

She takes the necklace and drapes it over his head. He doesn't stop her. She waves her hand at the pendant causing it to glow. Chuck gasps, his grip slipping making his hands press into the floor.

"There, every time you have those thoughts, those urges hold the pendant and my love will drown them out."

He's pulling at her now, his grip hard. She lets him, he straddles her his palm pressing to her necklace. It glows, she inhales sharply.

His voice comes out rushed as if he's racing against time, against his own courage.

"I know you still have those thoughts. I know you still feel the scars of your isolation. I see them sometimes in the way your form ripples. Silver marks on obsidian. Touch this when it gets too much. When the pain threatens to drown you okay. Okay?"

The little boy trying to save his Superhero. He's gripping her biceps now, she doesn't flinch at his desperation, as the hysteria builds the longer he spoke till it overwhelmed him.

Amara crushes it before it find any purchase.

"Okay. Okay I will."

Soft, calm, quiet. Metatron can see rings of auburn run from her through him. Chuck goes limp. He buries himself in her neck. His words changing incantation. Metatron realizes with a start why it sounds so familiar, it's the language from the tablets. It's _their_ language.

Amara curls around him, their "bodies" melting into each other at the skin to skin contact.

Metatron wishes he could run, wishes he could forget this scene. He didn't need — couldn't handle this. Too much emotion, too much pain. It was threatening to break him down to the his very molecules.

The roller coaster ends as Chuck pulls away, stopping short when their necklaces tangle.

They make eye contact and burst out laughing washing away the pain with joy. Making the room feel almost weightless.


	6. Snowball Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Chuck and Amara have a snowball fight. Sam and Dean are not amused.

They pause in Nepal, her hand held out to catch the snow that lazily fell.

Chuck grins at her slyly, mentally making a snowball and flicking at her. The ball stops an inch away, she turns and stares from it to him.

"What are you doing?"

"It's a snowball."

Amara lowers her hand to her side,

"I know, but why are you throwing it at me?"

Chuck stared at her for a moment before burst out laughing, falling into the snow. She just stared at him, a small smile on her face.

"You're one of the oldest beings in existence, you have the world cowering at your mere presence. Yet you don't know what a snowball fight is!"

His shoulders shook till something wet and cold struck him on the side of his head. He turned in shock. She smirked another one spinning in her hand.

"Well are you going to keep being a sitting duck?"

He grinned standing, he brushed the snow off. He looked up stopping the ball an inch away, he smirked snapping his fingers. The ball turning into a curl of steam.

"You're going to lose."

"Oh please, I'll always win."

He shook his head, they circled each other.

"Rules?"

"No cheating. One on one."

"Done."

They shook on it, holding on a moment longer than necessary. It had only been couple months.

They moved apart the snowballs materializing in the blink of an eye.

Amara was the first to hide,

_"Come on, the world is our playground. Come play with me."_

Chuck gave chase. The snow balls flying fast and quick redirecting between them in seconds.

Dean looked up and blinked, he squinted at the sky.

"The fuck?"

"Dean, what's wrong?"

"It's snowing. It's June!"

Laughter reached them, Sam and Dean shared a glance.

Sam's eyes widened as a snowball came careening toward him. He ducked in time as it crashed into the stone behind him — the boys eyes widened as the stone cracked.

"Sorry!"

"Learn to aim."

"Oh shut up Sister!"

Voices swirled around them. The wind picking up as it tore through the woods. Sam and Dean shared a glance.

"So it seems their family meeting is going well.

Sam looked worried.

"We should probably say something, I mean those snowballs could bash a person's skull in."

Dean sighed and shrugged,

"Eh, it'll probably die down after a while."

It didn't.

Dean's swearing and Sam's fervent prayers finally broke through their glee. They appeared in the bunker hand in hand. Castiel stared at them, Mary looked wide eyed though tried to hide it.

"Dean what's wrong?"

"Seriously? Do neither of you pay attention?"

They shared a glance beaming at each other.

Chuck shrugged,

"We've been kind of busy."

"Yeah throwing snowballs at each other. What are you guys five?"

"Well technically neither of us age so..."

"Dean."

"What Sam it's not my fault! You're the one who said we should stop their snowball fight!"

"Well sorry for not wanting people to die!"

Dean crossed his arms and rolled his eyes.

Amara looked between them,

"Why do you want us to stop having fun?"

"Oh I don't know, because those snow balls can kill a person. Does no one in this bunker care about people!"

"Sam."

"Shut up Dean."

Dean turned back to them with a sigh,

"He's been going a bit stir crazy."

"I still don't see why you called us."

Chuck narrowed his eyes before taking a step toward them.

"I thought the mark was gone, I though the connection was broken. Are you helping her win?"

Amara rolled her eyes,

"Oh please, if I was going to cheat do you think I'd use them? They don't know the meaning of the word inconspicuous."

Chuck nodded coming back to her side and taking her hand. Dean raise an eyebrow,

"Okay look far from me to point out odd sibling relationships but why?"

Amara looks at him confused, Chuck rolls his eyes.

"It's grounding. Kind of like how you drink to keep everything at bay. This keeps us from being too focused on the creation."

Dean stared at him,

"In English Chuck."

"It's like,—"

"It's a way to communicate without talking."

Amara finally supplied Chuck sent a grateful look.

"So are you guys talking now?"

Chuck nodded,

"Telepathically, think of it like angel radio."

"What about?"

Asked Sam leaning forward.

"It changes frequently, but at the moment it's about forcing me to go on an apology tour."

"That's the best think you've said since you came back."

Chuck sighed,

"Castiel while I'm here, I—"

Castiel disappeared. Chuck groaned placing his head on her shoulder. Amara gave him a sympathetic smile.

"Why can't they just listen. You did!"

"Yes because you're family."

"He's my son!"

"Chuck shut the hell up."

Chuck turned to Dean in shock.

"Well he is."

"Family doesn't end with blood."

Chuck rolled his eyes. He snapped his fingers as snow appeared in the bunker. The temperature dropped instantly.

"So we're going to go, oh and Dean Sam? Learn to chill."

Chuck turned after a moment to glare at her,

"We are not freezing them."

"Oh come on we'll save them! They deserve to—"

Snow fell on top of him as Amara took a step back. She smiled at the pile. With a wave of her hand the snow around the bunker disappeared. A blinding white light appeared from underneath the pile — giving it almost otherworldly glow.

White smoke twisted from the pile. Amara watched it in amusement.

Sam stated in shock,

"Is that, what is that?"

"His true form."

Answered Amara, it wound around her. Ice beginning to coat her dress. She stared down at in annoyance.

"Stop ruining it."

Chuck materialized a foot away, Mary tried not to jump.

"Seriously? Not fair."

"Not my fault you weren't paying attention."

"Wait Chuck—"

"Look Sam we'lol come back and you can ask whatever you want. But at the moment I need to teach my _dear_ sister a lesson."

She laughed disappearing into black smoke, Chuck chasing after her. They swirled around the bunker before flying out the window.

"Well that was something I can cross off my bucket list."

Sam said after a while of silence.

Dean and Mary burst out laughing.


	7. Nacho Cheese

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Chuck shows Amara one of humanity's greatest creations.

Chuck and Amara sat at the booth on their computers when Amara smiled,

"So guess who finally emailed?"

Chuck's eyes flicked up from his screen.

"Who?"

"Erebus. The party's in a couple of months. He said no formal clothes needed and to come in something casual."

Chuck nodded distractedly, suddenly he stills his eyes going wide. He stares at her,

"Which means we only have a few more months for you to experience as much of humanity as possible!"

Amara raised an eyebrow, her hand coming to fiddle with her necklace — a new habit she just started to pick up.

"Why the sudden deadline?"

Chuck shrugged, 

"I don't know, they'll ask you stuff and I want you to know the answers. Besides it'll be fun."

Amara shook her head,

"You seriously like to be in control don't you?"

"It's not control, it's maintaining an image. That's all."

Amara sighed, pretending this whole situation pained her.

"So what's the new thing I need to try?"

Chuck's eyes wandered around The Bar, his fingers tapping nervously till,

"I've got it! Oh this is going to be awesome!!"

He snapped his fingers and a basket of tortilla chips and melted cheese appeared in between them in the next moment.

Chuck reached out and plucked a tortilla chip and scooped a generous helping of cheese before plopping it into his mouth.

Amara watched him, her eyes flicking between the cheese to his happy face. Finally he swallowed and gestured for her to try it.

She hesitantly broke off a chip and dipped it in the cheese all while ignoring Chuck's loud eye rolls.

She inspects it for a couple of seconds before taking a bite.

The flavor immediately explodes in her mouth. The cheese all at once warm and sticky fit perfectly with the touch crunch of the chip. She swallowed and reach for another chip.

"Like it?"

She nodded too preoccupied with eating her third chip.

"Well that's another thing to cross off the list. I'd like to think this was one of humanity's greatest creations... This and music of course."

Amara swallowed and her eyes suddenly shine.

"Why don't we play something at the party? Or sing? You know how we used to."

"Yes! That's a great idea! Are you going to teach yourself an instrument or just sing?"

Amara shrugged,

"I don't know. Maybe both? I'll think about, it won't be hard to learn a song. We have time after all."

Chuck nodded bouncing in his seat.

"We do."

And for the first time they both said it without a hint of sadness or nostalgia. The scars of the past were beginning to slowly fade.


	8. Father's Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Amara paints and Chuck and her discuss the archangels and free-will.

Chuck sighed for the third time that day.

"Chuck if you do that one more time I'll stab you in the eye with this."

She threatened, holding up her paintbrush.

Chuck rolled his eyes.

"It's Father's Day today."

He whispered. Amara stilled and turned away from the scenery to look back at her brother. He was scribbling something into his notebook.

"Is that why you've been acting so mopey?"

"I'm allowed to have feelings Amara!"

Amara rolled her eyes and turned back around to continue painting.

"So what are you writing?"

"Well since the meetings with Death and Dick went so well, I'd thought I write my thoughts down for when I talk to Michael and the rest of them."

"You can't predict their words to you."

"Actually I _can_."

Amara turned and nodded.

"Okay you can. Doesn't mean you should."

"Stop restricting me. Isn't this what you wanted? Me taking initiative and responsibility?"

"Yes but you can't make them act a way you want. You can't skip over their pain."

A hint of finality entered her voice. Chuck sighed and tore the paper out scattering it as ash.

"Fine. But I need to do something.  
I have to plan what I want to say. If anyone besides you can get under my skin it's them. And they'll speak to wound and break me."

Amara shrugged,

"So let them."

"We're you not listening to the part where I don't want that? Was I too subtle for you?"

"Don't take your anger out on me. Just speak from your heart."

"I still think I did the right thing. I should have given more instruction and weaned them off my word slowly maybe. But in the grand scheme things I think I did the right thing."

"You apologized to Lucifer though."

Chuck shrugged,

"Yeah I did, but that's all I did. _Apologize_. I didn't say he was forgiven, I didn't say I was changing the narra —"

"You are _not_ letting them kill each other again."

The hardness made him glare at the back of her head.

"I know. And I'm _not_. I'm just saying what I've been saying — that the only one I truly wronged was you. Not them."

Chuck smiled when he felt the tension leave her shoulders. He crawled toward her. His chin resting on her shoulder, his arms around her.

"You're all that matters. Who should matter."

"You're still trying to make it up to me."

It was more of a statement than a question but Chuck still nodded and kissed her neck.

"Yes. I am."

"Do it by helping your creations. By being the creator I know you can be. They suffer needlessly brother. It hurts to feel it."

Chuck's arms wound around her tighter. His face burying into her neck.

"What will four archangels do to change that? What have meeting with Death and Dick accomplished other than being a waste of our time?"

"It may seem to be a waste of _your_ time brother, but not mine. It interests me to see how they all view you."

"They all say the same thing. I wronged them, I abandoned them. How could I do that to things I should love? When all I've ever truly loved was you."

Amara smiled at that as she continued to paint.

"Just keep meeting with them for me then. Please brother? You know all I asked was that you dismantle the lies spread about me. What better way than to show your eldest sons I wasn't all bad?"

Chuck sighed and nodded. He pulled away to sit next to her.

"Fine. Fine. You're right. Annoyingly right. But it will take time."

"We have all the time. I am not worried about time, I'm worried about the feelings of resentment your procrastination will bring about."

Chuck nodded picking at the grass.

"I know. I can feel Michael's anger build with each passing day. I'll start with him and work my way from there. They'll be rude to you."

He added. Amara shrugged,

"I'm not worried. They've been rude before. Besides I can deal with them if they try anything."

Chuck nodded and stood. He stretched his arms and back before he looked back down at her.

"I'm glad you're painting again Sister. I've missed them."

Amara smiled up at him.

"Thank you Brother but I will still be painting regardless how many of your children you have to talk to."

Chuck groaned and teleported away to get the diner ready for Michael's visit. Amara smiled to herself, no matter what her brother said she knew he was getting as much closure from the meetings as the other beings were. He just needed to be nudged...repeatedly.

And she could tell it _was_ paying off. She hadn't even broached the subject of bringing the archangels back yet. That was all him. She rolled her shoulders. Turning her thoughts away from her family to her artwork. 

She sighed as she smiled at her painting — of the Grand Canyon at sunset with stars and all. It wasn't bad for her first painting in eons. It might even look good at The Bar or with Winchesters. That bunker needed some damn color.


	9. Idolatry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein someone from Chuck and Amara's past appears, and Chuck and Amara discuss posers.

"And I thought all beauty had been washed away."

Amara looked up from the painting she had been working on of Paris and tried not to grimace.

"Zeus."

He smiled and came to sit next to her.

"Didn't you die?"

"I'm flattered you asked about me."

Amara rolled her eyes.

"It's more of a general knowledge than something I specifically asked. I had other more _important_ things on my mind."

Zeus nodded as he leaned back bracing himself on his arms.

"So I heard. How are you both now anyway?"

Zeus eyes flicked from the scenery to her painting, to see in time as she got the faint purple of the sunset just right.

She gave a faint smile as she finished the sunset.

"We're better. Slowly healing."

She finally turned to look at him and Zeus reminded himself to breath.

"So it was your daughter that killed you yes? Apparently familicide seems to be one of the few things we have in common."

Zeus looked down with a sly smile,

"Ah. So your both still playing at being apó then?"

She snorted as she stretched,

"We are not playing at being holier-than-thou, we _are_. We are better than you all in every way."

He tisked,

"I remember hearing something about pride in one your brothers' story books. I don't think it ended well."

She stilled and sighed, her eyes wary as she turned to look at him.

"What do you want Zeus?"

He smiled, trying for affectionate and friendly.

"Why to be in your company of course. A date would be nice too but it's not required."

She shook her head an amused smile on her lips.

"I'll give you this, you have tenacity."

Something shifted and suddenly he needed her. Needed to have her, if he had her then he could show them both who was really on top. Who _really_ ruled this world.

"What's the worse that could happen? Honesty?"

It made her pause and look at him.

"I'm not interested in a relationship."

He rolled his eyes wishing he could electrocute something.

"When have you ever been? But does this particular reason have anything to do with a certain green eyes Hunter?"

Her eyes sparked in recognition and not in what he hoped was love.

"You know Dean?"

He sighed and nodded.

"He was the reason I got killed, all because I was hurting a hybrid child."

She titled her head,

"Don't you all like Demi-children?"

He nodded.

"The ones of old yes. These new crop? Terrible. They're weak, sheltered, and addicted to this world. His world."

Amara nodded and turned back to the painting in her lap.

"Okay."

Zeus blinked before turning to her. His eyes narrowed.

"Okay?"

She shrugged and nodded.

"Yes. I'll go on a date with you. Just try not to be annoying."

Zeus's hands curled into the grass singeing it.

"I'm wonderful company. So anywhere you're interested in going?"

"Surprise me."

She stated vanishing. Zeus lay in the grass and stared up at the sky before chuckling.

"Your move old friend."

Chuck stared up at her from the couch as she set the painting down on the coffee table. She was quiet, her essence calm. Finally Chuck couldn't take it anymore.

"Seriously? Why?"

She shrugged her back to him. But as she turned to him her eyes sparkled.

"He's a sadist right? Has a need to dominate others?"

Chuck slowly sat up, Amara leaned against the table. Her fingers tapping out half-finished melodies.

"Yes, obviously. Why?"

He asked slowly. She grinned at him.

"Well why not give the sadist a taste of his own medicine? Why not make him submit?"

Chuck grinned at her, their taste for absolute control was one of the few things they shared.

"Yes to it all. He needs to be brought down so many pegs."

"Care to help?"

Chuck's grin widened. He remembered those days, remembered how much fun Apollo had been. Though that had been when they had both been virgins. Now? Wait —

"Are you going to have sex with him or break him?"

She shrugged a sly smile in place.

"If he's good he'll get a reward."

Chuck scoffed and shook his head,

"So the answer is no."

Amara raised an eyebrow,

"I don't know Chuck, hate or jealously can be a good motivator."

Chuck glared at her,

"He won't do it to beat me."

She laughed and came to sit next to him,

"You do realize he asked me out to annoy you right?"

"We're uncontrollable, untamable. He's a wannabe compared to Chronos, hell he's a false God compared to _us_. He can never annoy me."

"Yet here you are ranting on and on about him."

Chuck crossed his arms and looked away in annoyance.

"Shut up."

She smirked and patted his arm.

"Suit yourself."


	10. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Amara has a nightmare and Chuck tries to pull her back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Implied PTSD

Amara shifted, her fingers clenching on the fabric. Her face buried further into her pillow. The shadows around her shifted and dancing to tuneless music that sounded akin to a flute.

Chuck and Metatron sat at the bar in companionable silence. Interrupted only by the clicks of a keyboard and the rustle of paper.

Chuck fixed his glasses, his mind at work on his chapter about creating blackholes when he felt it — a stab of terror of chocking panic. He gasped his hand knocking over his mug as he moved to stand. Metatron looked up as he heard the sound of breaking ceramic.

Chuck looked at him wide eyed. He needed words, syllables to tell Metatron something. The panic was closing in, a sound like a flute was edging in and out of his head. 

"I-I need to go."

He choked out before vanishing. His hand bracing on the doorframe of his flat. His eyes widened again — her power was curling around her, she'd be encasing herself in whatever this was.

Chuck moved quickly, appearing next to her in the bed. He stared at her and took a deep breath. He was invading her space, her mind but he had to do this. He put his hand on her shoulder and forced his way in. 

She pushes him back. Her tendrils jagged pitchforks of obsidian. Chuck gritted his teeth, and met them with his own power — bright like a diamond. 

He was bruised, but the flute was louder now, jarring him. He pushed himself harder and she finally crumbled. 

He was enveloped almost immediately by the sound and the feeling of confinement.

This was the cage. Her cage. Oh him. What had he done?

He pushed that thought away, no way was he going to let his insecurities get in the way. Once was enough.

He tried to find her, ignoring the words and the images that flashed around him. Images of them before, during the war, then the crushing loneliness.

He shivered, where was she? He didn't dare call out, it might make her attack him again. 

He pushed his power through her, trying to find her. A shift, a response and he spiraled into harder. 

A ripple now still weak. Harder. 

A shudder. Harder.

Finally, finally she responded. Her grip, her awareness so very weak. He pulled on her, lacing himself around and around till,

"Brother?"

"Sister."

Her grip almost suffocating him. He blinked and the room slowly came back into focus. She was shaking he pulled her close. Shifting her till he could see her eyes. She buried heralded in his chest. He had no words to console her so he didn't use them. He used his essence lacing through her, forcing himself to feel her pain, her memories...

"Brother please you don't need to feel this."

"Yes I do. You're pain is mine."

She was tired, it was the only explanation she could come up she let her brother win the argument so easily.

Chuck leaned his head back against the pillows and allowed her to go rest. Enveloping her in him. In every happy memory that he didn't think would trigger her. She smiled at his interactions with the Winchesters so he showed them all, even ones when he hadn't been present for.

He pulled her tighter as she relaxed. 

"I'll always protect you. Even it from myself. My old self."

"I know Brother. I know."

"I love you."

It was getting easier and easier after that first moment in the park. She snuggled closer.

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side-note: anyone find the hidden Easter egg to another work in this I love you. :)


	11. Nerd Conference

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Amara and Chuck finally sit down and answer Sam's and Toni's questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place after Season 12 where I Headcanoned Toni and Sam becoming a couple and trying to understand the world around them.

Chuck sits down, Amara stretches out on the couch a book in hand.

Chuck puts a hand up before either Sam or Toni can talk.

"Planets are round because that's the optimal shape for life. Ears are that way because that's best way for sound waves to make into the brain, also because I like the shape."

He shrugs and takes a swig of beer as Sam looks at him wide eyed. He motions for them to speak,

"Who's older?"

Asked Toni.

Amara smiles but doesn't look up from the book.

"Technically we're the same age. But she's older — by like not even a smallest decimal of time."

"So how do you know she's older?"  
Asks Sam.

Chuck smiled wider,

"I just do. Just like I knew if one of us dies reality ends."

Toni nods and writes it down, she looks at Sam.

"Right so big question are we alone?"

Chuck blinks,

"You mean are you the only sentient lifeform? Have you forgotten the Angels and Demons and —"

"No I mean about aliens."

Chuck shrugs,

"You promised complete honesty brother."

Amara reminded him, he glared at her over his shoulder.

He sighed and looked back at them,

"At the moment maybe — there's maybe a potential species a coupes billion light years away."

Sam's eyes widened, but now it was Toni's turn.

"How's the nerd conference going?"

Asked Dean coming in with a laptop in hand.

They all glared at Dean.

"You should be excited Dean I don't answer these questions ever. So you guys are the only humans to know these things."

Dean just shrugged and rolled his eyes as he sat down.

Toni spoke next to Chuck.

"Are they other universes?"

"Yes."

"Did—"

"His turn."

He pointed to Sam. Luckily Sam guessed the question.

"Did you create them?"

Chuck turned to Amara, he seemed to be staring at her. Finally he turned around and took a long swig of his beer. Sam and Toni shared a glance, Dean look up from his laptop and waited.

Chuck sighed, 

"No."

Sam's eyes widened. Toni froze, Dean asked the next logical question.

"Who did?"

Chuck buried his head in his arms.

"Chuck what the hell? Tell us!"

"Too much knowledge isn't good."

"Chuck please. We need to know."

Toni pleaded.

Chuck sighed and looked at them in turn.

"Who do you think?"

"There are other Gods?"

Gasped Sam.

Chuck nodded.

"Are you related to them?"

Asked Sam.

Chuck shrugged,

"Not really. Amara's my only true kin."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"The others were there as we were but we don't have a singe source, or point of origin. They're not family."

"They sound like distant relations. Like cousins."

Dean said laughing. Chuck stilled and stared at him. It was Amara who spoke,

"You know that makes sense. So yes they'd be our cousins."

Finally Toni spoke, bringing the conversation back on track.

"Are they're Gods older than you?"

Chuck shrugged,

"No idea."

"Can they come here?"

Whispers Sam.

"Yes. Will they? Probably not. We're not one for reunions. Family reunions now I guess we should call them."

"So have you met the other Gods?"

Chuck sighed and nodded,

"And?"

Asked Toni.

"It was terrible. They try to be us when they can't."

Sam's brow furrowed.

"What do you mean?"

"We all are different. Some create or destroy, others change colors, still others are made of shapes."

Chuck shrugged,

"The point is we don't really get along nor care to. They do their own thing we do our own thing."

"But don't they want to visit after everything?"

"Why would they? What we do on this plane doesn't effect their universes. There is no need for them to come here or for us to go to them."

There was a note of finality in her voice. Chuck simply smiled at them though his eyes shined with agreement.

Sam and Toni shared a look.

Sam swallowed and asked 

"Soo Pagans, what are they?"

"Gods same us only not as powerful."

Sam nodded writing it down. Toni spoke up after clearing her throat,

"Meaning of life?"

Chuck shrugged,

"So this going to sound cheesy but it's whatever you want it to be."

Chuck sighed and rose,

"So I think that's enough for now.  
We'll be back in a couple of months with the archangels."

Sam's eyes widened as Dean glared.

"Seriously? Why?"

Chuck stilled and stared at them. His hands touched the table as he leaned toward Dean.

"They're my children."

He flashed away as Amara shifted and sat up.

"They're family as you and Sam are Dean."

"I know but —"

"Say something ill about my nephews again and you'll regret it is that clear?"

Dean's eyes widened before he nodded.

She sighed and flashed away as well.  
They both met up at The Bar. They turned to each other and rolled their eyes.

"Humans."

Chuck laughed and nodded in agreement. He turned cautious as he met her eyes again.

"What was with that tone? Why didn't you want to talk about them?"

She shrugged,

"They're not worth our time."

"Sister."

She sighed,

"I don't want to talk about ones Gods who aren't family. We have our world they have theirs."

"You're hiding something."

She turned away, she can feel his whole awareness coming to her.

"When I was alone before you I used to try to go to them, and they would deny me. I just don't see why we need to give them the same courtesy."

"We don't."

His voice was firm. He leaned toward her and took her hand.

"We never will."

She nodded and went to The Bar to get some wine. His awareness splintered off for a moment, appearing in The Bunker.

Sam and Toni looked up from comparing notes. He stood with his arms crossed staring at them.

"That note about cousins take it out. They're not family, they're nothing to us. Is that clear?"

Sam and Toni nod wide-eyed. Chuck raised an eyebrow and Sam ducked his head quickly scribbling that part out.

Toni opened her mouth to call to him but he had already vanished back to The Bar.

If Amara knew or guessed what he had done she didn't say anything. They just clinked their glasses of wine and drank.


	12. Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Amara and Chuck go to Paris for some shopping, and maybe have some deep conversations along the way.

They were lounging in the Saharan plains sitting against a tree. 

Amara had a lioness'a head on her lap. Chuck sat next to her telling her how he thought of lions.

"—so I wanted something to look the color of sand, but have rays of the sun on its face - and look like a king..."

"Brother do they have names?"

Chuck blinked and stared at her,

"What? No. Why?"

She shrugged and smiled as the lioness curled into her.

"If your animals do not why should humanity?"

But Chuck heard the unsaid question,

"We don't have to - not between us. It's just easier for humanity - for Sam and Dean to have names to use for us."

She nodded.

"It's such a strange concept. You have a word that defines you, that is you."

Chuck crossed his legs and turned to her fully.

"Yeah it is, but we don't need them between us. So do you still want me to call you your name?"

Amara looked up at him and smiled.

"If it is just us I'd prefer not to. But among them then yes. Are you okay with me not calling you by your name?"

He cocked his head and smiled. Surprisingly he was okay with that. It was time he shed his "human" persona anyway.

"Sure."

He looked down at her dress and smirked.

"She's going to kneading your dress into tatters."

Amara shrugged.

"I can always repair it."

Chuck's eyes suddenly lit up.

'No! No. I have the perfect idea!"

Amara rose an eye at her brother's sudden excitement.

"What is it?"

"A shopping spree! We're getting you a new wardrobe!"

He was positively giddy with excitement. He always saw on tv how much fun those were and since he finally had her back, it would be a wonderful bonding experience - or they'd burn the mall down in anger, anything was possible!

"So sis you in?"

Amara sighed and leaned her head against the tree.

"Fine, but only if you get new clothes as well."

"Sissy no!"

Amara opened an eye at him and smirked. He hadn't called her that in ages.

"Bro yes!"

She rose fluidly to her feet to see her brother get up with a mock pout. They both laughed at that.

"Why do I put up with you."

"Because I'm a freakin delight to be around!"

Amara rolled her eyes, 

"Good to know that ego of yours hasn't diminished at all."

He stuck his tongue out in answer.

"Real mature brother."

He tackled her to the ground and proceeded to tickle her. She burst out laughing and tried to squirm away.

"Take it back."

"Brother - brother stop!"

Finally she was able to stand, he smiled up at her and lunged as his true self - she fled her true form racing across the plains.

The finally ended up in Paris.

"Did you I tell I learned French?"

"Wee."

She answered.

"I learned them all as I scoured the world looking for you."

Chuck rolled his eyes,

"Show off."

He muttered.

She smirked,

"Not my fault you're only bilingual."

They spend couple of hours wandering around in the city. Finally Chuck manages to pull her into a high end boutique. 

"Okay, dresses or something else?"

She thought for a moment 

"Surprise me."

Chuck nods and they move away from each other. Amara sits and waits for him to come back with clothes. She chats with a father and young daughter. Chuck paused and tuned in to listen. She's surprisingly good with the little girl.

He smiled to himself, perhaps she's going to want children someday after all.

Finally he appeared in front of her. His arms laden with clothes. She rolled her eyes, 

"Honestly Chuck?"

"You promised now go."

She rolled her eyes and went into the changing room. Chuck sat outside and waited. 

He smiled and shook his head at creations modesty. They both didn't understand that. They knew every inch of the each other vessel or not. The curtain or door in this case was useless.

Chuck looked up and beamed at Amara came in wearing a black dress, bleeding into a rainbow of color at bottom. The man and child clapped. 

"Like it?"

"Love it. You look beautiful."

She sent him a wink over her shoulder. 

"Now try something else."

"Bro —"

"Please? You'll like it. Trust me."

They both stilled at those words, too much weight behind them. But she finally smiled and suddenly it was all okay.

She came out again with black outfit, with a red bracelet, red earring dangled from her ears. She slipped them off, and put them on the table next to her.

"I like this."

"I told you."

She smiled, and went to change into another dress, this one black faded to white and blue.

The last outfit she picked to wear was a red romper. It came with a black necklace and a copper bracelet.

She finally picked the black leggings outfit and a red minimalist bracelet with it to wear out of the store.

They sat at a boutique eating cheese and drinking some good wine.

"I'm think I'm almost ready for Lucifer."

Amara rose an eyebrow,

"Really?"

Chuck nodded swallowing a piece of Munster cheese.

"Yeah, Michael is relatively stable so I'm going to bring him back as soon. Might need your help again."

She nodded,

"Alright, you can pray if you need me."

She winked and he smirked.

"Funny."

"Yeah I think so."


	13. Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Amara and Chuck finally attend Eros's party and try to get past the new strain on their connection, or Chuck at least tries to.

It had been a couple weeks since his and Lucifer's talk. So far there had been no apocalypse, but Chuck wasn't getting too excited yet.

"Okay, so here's the revised version of each of your latest chapters. I think we're really making some headway. Amara I really liked this one - I never knew that there was other planes or beings like you guys."

Chuck mentally tensed at the word "being" and just as he guessed, Amara's fingers dug a little into the paper in her hand.

"Thanks Metatron. Glad I could educate you. I'm going to be exploring the Amazon if you need me."

She vanished and Metatron turned to Chuck with a raised eyebrow. He had come to like her, maybe even see as a friend much to Amara's cautious delight and Chuck's private joy.

"What happened?"

Chuck sighed. Ever since his rash decision with Lucifer they had been strained. He understood why, he got it but it hurt. He hoped he hadn't just destroyed all the progress they had made recently.

"Just the archangels being themselves. Nothing you need to worry about."

"Well I'm glad because it would be a shame to have a party and not have you two show up."

Chuck turned and smiled.

"Apollo. How did you find me?"

Apollo smiled and winked. He uncrossed his long legs and moved away from wall.

"Amara pointed me in the right direction. Now the party is tomorrow you ready?"

"For some fun and chaos? Yes."

Apollo laughed pushing his golden hair out of his sparkling blue eyes.

"Good. Eros has promised me himself that it's going to be insane."

"Uh I hate to ruin the mood but —"

"So why are you Angelos?"

Metatron glared at the Greek moniker,

"I'm all for fun and chaos but how will the Earth —"

"Don't worry Metatron, the earth will be fine."

"But —"

"I said don't worry about it."

He added a little more forcibly. Metatron nodded and duked his head. Going back to the computer in front of him.

Apollo glanced down at the papers on the table in mild interest before straightening and sending Chuck a dazzling smile.

"I'll see you there little light."

Chuck rolled his eyes,

"Will you stop calling me that you overgrown hipster."

Apollo giggled,

"Oh good one!"

He called as he vanished.

Chuck rose and appeared in the Amazon. Amara stood at the edge of the river just watching.

"I know about Apollo and the time of the party. I'm fine Charles, just give me some space okay?"

Chuck nodded to her back and retreated. Thinking he'd go back to bar. Instead though he went to Paris - one of the few cities that was fast becoming their favorite and held a lot more meaning to him now than just cute French guys.

He sat in a chair watching the Eiffel Tower for a while.

"What brings you here old friend?"

Chuck blinked to see Death standing near him.

"Are you not going to sit?"

Death shook his head,

"I have places to be, you look down."

"I - uh it's hopefully nothing."

Death nodded and continued down the road. Chuck watched him leave in mild confusion. That was odd.

"Well look who I found."

Chuck closed his eyes before turning back to see Zeus sitting across from him.

"It's not a good ti—"

He stopped abruptly and leaned toward the pagan. His eyes narrowing.

"Chuck while I'm flattered I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole."

But Chuck wasn't listening, a slow smile found its way on his face. It was subtle, well hidden from all who didn't know what to look for. But Chuck could see it,

"You and Amara having fun then?"

Her essence was all over him, sometimes skin deep or clinging to bone. _She'd_ certainly been having fun.

Zeus shifted but didn't attempt to give an excuse.

"Actually yeah. I thought it would hurt you know? But she numbs it and well, let's just say I can guess the appeal you have."

Chuck rose an eyebrow and broke out in a grin.

"I don't know if I should be concerned or glad."

Zeus shrugged,

"Take it how you will."

"So now that you finally have her attention is it everything you'd thought it would be?"

Chuck asked with a smile, his chin resting on his overlapped hands.

Zeus gave a small smile, so unlike his usual scowl or hardiness.

"Would it surprise you to know its all that and more?"

Chuck tried not to groan or roll his eyes. Figures Zeus would fall even more in love with her.

"Oh come on, don't look at me like that. She's perfect."

"I know. She's _my_ sister."

Chuck snapped too quickly. Zeus eyes narrow and he's all at once very invested in this conversation, much to Chuck's internal annoyance.

"As opposed to? Something happen Chucky?"

"Don't call me that. And nothing happened."

He teleported away back to the bar before Zeus could say anything else. It was a stupidly impulsive move he knew but he didn't think he could keep a civil conversation up any longer.

Chuck passed the next pieces of time playing with Toto and catching up on the news. He shook his head at the decision of the Brexit and everything about Donald Trump.

Though as he turned the tv off he shrugged, it wasn't the end of the world, and he definitely wasn't involved no matter how much his creation wanted to believe he was.

He spent the night restless, warring between reaching out and giving her the space she asked for. At around 5 in the morning he couldn't take it. He got up and walked the few feet to her door. He hesitated at the door. It was weird to see a very apt symbol of how much things had changed.

Before it had been a fast paced river, a constant flow of emotion and thoughts at speeds far faster than mere light or sound. It had been an always, an unending thing like humans have heartbeats.

An always. Now it was a maybe or if. And the worst part of it was that he didn't even know how to fix it. He couldn't read her that well anymore, not confidently and absolutely.

He sighed and opted for slowly opening the door, she would have known he had been standing there anyway. But she had asked for space, should he had knocked?

He came into the room to see her lying down, but even in the pitch darkness he could tell her eyes were open. Waiting.

He fought the urge to talk about the party, or Metatron or literally anything else than the reason he came.

When had that happened? When had it become normal for them to joke and ignore the issue? Certainly before this had never happened, constant communication or closeness usually resolved any conflict - or it used to.

"No."

Chuck blinked,

"What?"

"Your thoughts are loud, and no letting me fully in your head won't —"

She cut herself off and sat up. Curling her hands around her knees she started again.

"It won't bring us closer, it will only serve to overwhelm me."

Chuck's eyes narrowed. She was hiding the real reason. They didn't get over —

He felt himself spinning, chains echoed as he seemed to jerk in surprise or was that shock? As the sounds of chains did down all that remained was crushing silence. No sound, no pinprick of anything. Nothingness and silence. The chains sounded like thunder and screams as his body seemed to move of its own volition.

Shaking went through him, a deep sadness and numbness began to settle in his very being. Before he could get use to it, he flinched, red hot flames of anger licked up his body. Harding the ball of sadness into bitterness and finally fury.

And all at once it was gone, he was back in his universe. On earth, in his flat in Amara's room.

He blinked and was surprised to see himself on the floor, his body was shaking, his heart beating too quickly. He looked up to glare only to freeze. She watched from the bed impassively.

"Gets some sleep brother, we have a long day tomorrow."

And the next moment he was in his own bed. He curled inward, shaking.

The rays of sun roused him and he sighed and snapped his fingers. Making his vessel look presentable.

They both appeared at Bermuda a few minutes later. They didn't speak.

The sun beat high and —

"Ah! There you two are! Come on, let's go!"

They turned to see Eros floating in his true form - shades of pink and red above the water. They unfurled from their forms and made their way to the Bermuda Triangle - the only entrance to The Empty in Chuck's universe.

They arrived in the nothingness and Chuck tried not to shiver.

Bottle and tables and board games appeared in quick succession. Pagan moved around them, some in corporeal forms, many not.

The party slowly, picking up speed and intensity. Many wound around each other some as a form of dancing, others in something far more intimate.

Chuck stopped paying attention to her as the celestial alcohol worked its way through him. He stopped being God as the nonexistent pulse of The Empty overtook him. He brought his awareness to his immediate surroundings cutting his connection to Earth and his universe for the first time in eons.

Amara's eyes turned to Chuck as she felt him snap his connection to his universe. She smiled, the energy and drinks softening her edges. She took hold of their connection and broke it wide open.

He stilled momentarily in surprise before letting his head fall back and reciprocating the gesture.

The party continued for infinite forevers, there was no time here, no need for it.

They engaged in every sensory input they could, drinking, singing, dancing.

Before Chuck had wanted to be big they had all gotten along, had all coexisted in some semblance of unity.

For now, for these moments that unity was back. Chuck and Zeus traded jokes, pranked Nyx and Erebus, teamed up against Amara and Eros in karaoke - winning by a small margin. Still Chuck lauded it over her. She only laughed and continued to drink.

Minutes. Hours. Days. Weeks. Years. This party lasted for moments and lifetimes. Slowly it wound down, they appeared back in their house. Shaking the pagan essences from themselves they mentally realized they had been gone for six months on Earth. A year Heaven's time.

Chuck and Amara glanced at each other and smiled, the connection still wide open between them. They were okay, everything was okay — for now.

But that's all either could ask for, all they could do was take it all moment by moment.

Chuck's eyes turned away from Amara and landed on a painting of a koi fish. He smiled remembering how his son had slaved over them. Painting each in such a way that no two were exactly alike.

His fingers twitched as he remembered how he hadn't always painted them alone, how he had once been the most happiest and caring of his archangels.

Chuck sighed.

_"It's time to bring Raphael home."_

She gave a smile,

_"I couldn't agree more."_


	14. Mana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Amara finally makes something and she and Chuck discuss the notion of forgivness and why Amara can't seem to accept the new wrinkle in their story.

Chuck sighed and leaned back into the knoll he was sitting in.

"You really weren't kidding about the lighting."

Chuck shook his head as the power flickered yet again through all of Europe.

Raphael, it seemed was fast loosing any of his patience.

"And this is only when Azazel and he fight. Can you imagine if Michael or Lucifer were to have a screaming match with him?"

Amara shook her head as she came to sit down. That wouldn't end well. She could hope that Lucifer or Raphael wouldn't freeze and electrocute all of Europe.

_"How are they?"_

Chuck gave her a confused look, she shrugged.

"I'm purposefully not getting involved with any of them. I was trying to enjoy a quiet meal and a nice book in Florence, but the lights kept flickering and I just left."

Chuck gave a soft laugh and nodded.

_"Yeah, sorry."_

"What are they even fighting about?"

"Azazel's betrayal probably and Raphael's subsequent choices. I don't know I'm trying not to listen."

"You didn't tell us Raphael was back."

They both turned to see Michael and Lucifer glaring down at them.

"You can see he's back now."

Chuck said gesturing to the lighting in the valley below.

"Father why didn't you tell us?"

Michael's asked. His voice cutting through before Lucifer could make it worse.

Chuck shrugged,

"Don't know, didn't seem important."

Amara rolled her eyes, oh for the love of —.

"Raphael didn't want us to tell you."

"What? Why?!"

They all turned to Lucifer in confusion, he seemed personally offended.

"Because he didn't see the point, he assumed neither of you would need him now that you have each other."

They turned to see Azazel standing behind the two eldest archangels. His glared at them, his arms crossed. His vessel had changed as well, brown hair and even brown eyes greeted them all now. His voice had a lit in it too - English. 

Chuck tapped on the back of Amara's hand, signaling that it was time for them to leave.

They reappeared in London, she shook her head.

"You sure Azazel won't get himself killed?"

Chuck snorted and shook his head,

"He's surprisingly good at staying alive."

Amara nodded, her eyes traveling to the buildings.

_"I hope they all can get along."_

She said to the buildings. Chuck slipped her hand in hers and squeezed.

_"Yeah, me too."_

Amara pulled him suddenly, to The Bar.

Metatron's eyes flick to them, Toto waged his tail in greeting.

Amara let his hand go and closed her eyes, her hand was held palm up, Chuck crossed his arms and waited.

Darkness and primordial energy coalesced together till Amara opened her eyes and twisted her hand. The smoke tumbled down till hit the ground and began to solidify.

A sudden yap was heard and Metatron finally turned to look down only for his eyes to widen.

Chuck beamed,

"Aw! You finally made it!"

Amara nodded and crouched down the black little dog ran to her.

"She's different from your dogs,"

"Oh? How?"

"She is closer to a hellhound, able to travel through shadows. She can withstand your light too."

Chuck nodded and slowly went to pet her. She gave a quick growl only to hush when Amara gave her a look.

"She's so beautiful. Does she have a name?"

He regretted the question instantly, but Amara only smiled and nodded.

"Yes. Mana."

"Mana? Spirit, Protector, Power —"

"And most importantly, truth."

Chuck and Amara shared a glance as Metatron tried not to roll his eyes at being interrupted.

_"Well I know the first thing we should do with her."_

_"Oh? What's that?"_

_"Show her everything._ So Winchesters or the Universe first?"

"Winchesters."

Chuck nodded and brought them to The Bunker.

"Hey Chuck do you know what that whole European almost power failure was about?"

Chuck and Amara shared a look.

"What do you mean was?"

Asked Chuck.

"The blackout ended a half an hour ago."

Sam finally turned from the computer and almost squealed.

"Aw she's so cute!"

Amara gently set Mana down,

_"Should we be worried?"_

_"Checking, hold on."_

"Aww what's your name?"

"Sam? Sa — why is there a dog in the bunker?"

"Dean do you not like dogs?"

Dean gave her a tired look and shook his head. Sam meanwhile had sat on the floor and begun to play with her. Dean looked at him and sighed,

"For the love of — Sammy get up off the floor."

"Dean? Is some — aww the puppy is so cute!"

Dean rolled his eyes as Toni ran and crouched on the floor next to Sam.

"I give up."

He turned to leave when Amara called him back,

"I'm sorry we couldn't help you with Toni and the other Men of Letters. But everything is good now right?"

Dean nodded and gave a soft smile as he saw Sam and her talking and giggling.

"Yeah, things are good. Her kid gets in a couple of days. Sam's ecstatic."

Amara titled her head, then why did Dean look so sad?

"Then what's wrong?"

She tapped his arm, appearing at his side. He jumped but motioned her to the kitchen.

"It's just, Sam had this before."

Dean gestures vaguely in the direction they had just come in.

"Not a kid but a girlfriend, hell he was going to marry her."

Amara leaned against the counter and nodded. While she personally didn't see the big deal about being with someone for eternity - how could she? It's not like there was anyone other than her brother she'd ever choose to spend her life with.

That being said, she still nodded and tried to understand.

"So what happened?"

Dean sighed and leaned against the counter, going to the pantry to get some coffee instead of another beer. Mary had definitely improved their lives.

"This thing, this demon that took our mom, it took Jess - his girlfriend. And, I - I just don't want to see him go though that again."

"Where is this demon? Is it Crowley?"

Her hand flexed, it would be a wonderful reason to finally get rid of that pest.

Dean laughed at the anger,

"We killed it, a long time ago."

Amara nodded,

"Good."

They both turned when they heard a sigh from the doorway. Sam spoke before Dean could.

"Dean it's okay, look I was young then."

"And now? You going to be okay if something happens to her? To the kid?"

"Dean I've made my peace with Jess and if something were to happen to Toni,"

He visibly swallowed,

"At least I know where she's going, and uh Amara?"

Amara stilled and looked at Sam. They both hadn't really talked or gotten to know each other in the months and year and a half since her brother and her had reconnected. Hell this might be the first time they were talking about something that didn't have to do with a hunt.

"Can you make sure she gets there? To Heaven I mean? I mean I would ask Chuck but he seems to be —"

He gestured to the library where Chuck was still listening presumedly to the archangels.

"Sam don't worry, I'll make she's okay. Do you not want me to bring her back?"

"I- I people die for a reason, I have to believe that or all the grief will swallow me. That's not to say people don't die to soon but there has to be a reason."

Amara nodded. She personally didn't agree but she would respect his opinion. She suddenly snorted thinking back on the demon that had destroyed and maybe made Sam and Dean into who they were today.

"What kind of name is Yellow Eyes?"

She supposed she shouldn't be so surprised since she had met a demon named Crowley, but still _Yellow Eyes_?

Dean snorted shaking his head he took a long sip of his coffee.

"We gave him that name since you know the yellow eyes. But his name was actually Azazel."

Amara stiffened, oh please let it not be true.

Her mind going back to the moment she had met Azazel. His infectious smile, the way Raphael and he seemed to gravitate to each other.

"Shit."

The brothers both froze as she swore. But she ignored them and walked out to the library. Chuck blinked and seemed to sag in relief.

"They're all talking —  _and what's wrong?"_

_"You never told me."_

Chuck's confusion lasted for a second before he nodded in understanding.

_"Do you think I should reverse the decision? It's not too late."_

Amara really thought about. Azazel had destroyed the Winchesters more than once, but he was what Raphael had asked for. What type of parental figures would they be if they favored one over the other?

_"No. Though they should know."_

Chuck nodded, sending a quick smile to the Winchesters look of confusion.

"Amara did you rescue her?"

Amara shook her head as she crouched down to Toni's and Mana's level.

"No I created her, she's all mine."

Toni nodded and cooed at her,

"She's beautiful, does she have a name?"

"Mana."

"You did what! The hell Chuck?"

Toni's eyes flicked to the Winchesters in worry. The brothers meanwhile were looking at him with a mixture of shock and betrayal. Chuck sighed.

"Look guys I get it, but at the moment Raphael's happiness is more important."

"Raphael? That Mutant Ninja Angel? Why?"

Amara could feel as Chuck's essence swirled at the crude nickname.

"Dean he's my son, I want him —"

"Yeah, yeah I know. I get it —"

"You really don't."

The empathetic tone bled away. He glared at them.

"Look Azazel has done a lot of terrible things, I know. I'm not saying he's being allowed into Heaven, but he's the only thing that Raphael asked for. The only thing. How could I say no?"

"No. There I said it."

Chuck sighed and shook his head. Toni rose and greeted Mary and Castiel as they came into the bunker with groceries. Chuck snapped his hand, putting them all away.

Everyone froze, Chuck waved Sam and Dean toward their mother.

"Go ahead, I'll wait."

He turned and sat down on the ground, smiling as Mana curled into his lap.

Castiel growled, he glared down at the dog.

"Castiel I know you're not really angry at the dog."

_"I need a better more distinctive name than dog."_

Amara noted absentmindedly as she flipped through one of the books on the table. It was about this place called Avalon. It seemed quite nice. Nice enough that if was real she might take Mana and go see it.

"Why Azazel? Of all the angels Raphael would ask for, why him?"

Chuck looked up at him tiredly. Mary and the rest of the humans came within ear shot as Chuck asked Castiel a counter question.

"Why do you think?"

Castiel stared at him in anger, confusion, then shock. He took a couple steps back.

"I-I always assumed that was a slanderous rumor."

Chuck shook his head,

"Nope. It was true."

Castiel sighed and rubbed his face.

"How is - what are they doing now?"

"The archangels? Talking. Before that Raphael and Azazel were trying to kill each other with words."

Castiel nodded and sat down.

"That's it? Seriously Cass what the hell?!"

Cass sent Dean a tired glance. Mary stood and listened, her arms crossed. Amara was surprised to see she was the most rational out of everyone here - and Azazel had killed her.

Sam came back carrying two cups of tea. By the look on his face and the set of his jaw he had heard every word. Still he sat next to Toni and waited for Cass to speak.

"Raphael and Azazel are mates Dean."

"So?"

"When angels mate, it's forever. I've heard that to lose your mate be it through death or falling is excruciatingly painful."

"They didn't consummate the bond Cass, but they ugh - let's just say Adam and Eve came from more than just my imagination."

Chuck hugged Mana closer, giving a soft laugh as she licked him. Amara looked down at her brother in renewed interest.

"They were your template?"

Chuck nodded,

"They had been together for a million years by that point."

"Yeah love is grand. But why does Azazel get to be happy?"

Dean snapped bringing the conversation back on track.

Chuck stood holding Mana.

"Look Dean the world doesn't revolve around you and your bro—"

"It should! We saved it enough damn times!"

"Dean!"

Sam cut in shock.

"No Sammy no. I can handle Lucifer being back, even Raphael but not him. He doesn't get to be happy. Not when he destroyed us! When he took mom and Jess!"

"You think I want him to be happy? Hell I think no amount of torture would be enough to show him the pain he put us through —"

"So what's the problem?"

"We've moved past him, we've risen above what he planned for us. I think that's the best revenge we can give him."

Dean shook his head and gave a dry laugh.

"Bullshit, the rack would be a wonderful way for him to spend his time alive."

"And you both wonder why Heaven hates you."

Amara's voice cut through the anger, Chuck closed his eyes and buried his head in Mana's fur - he didn't have the energy to deal with this.

Dean gaped at her,

"Seriously you're taking their side?"

She shook her head. Closing the book she turned her chair to face Dean more directly.

"I'm not on any side, I'm just saying. Everyone has shades of gray Dean. You showed me that, you showed me my brother was more than his ego. I'm not asking you to forgive him, or even speak to him. I am asking you to respect my brother's decision."

"But —"

"Dean, you are not the only one whose been wronged. So have they. Raphael lost everything because of my brother and I's actions. He wasn't always so cold and detached. He used to cry when the leviathans were being corralled and herded into Purgatory."

_"You remember that?"_

_"It was one of the first times I felt any empathy for your creations."_

"I agree."

"Mom!"

"Dean, she's right. I get it, believe me I understand your hatred of him. He broke John, something I'll never forgive him for that. But, we need to move on, he is beneath our anger. It's a disservice to your father and everything you've both gone through to expend any energy thinking of him."

Dean glared at her a moment before storming out the room.

"Thanks Mary. You didn't need to do that."

Mary sighed and just gave Chuck a hard look before leaving the room as well. Toni looked between the people remaining and silently excused herself as well. Giving Sam a quick kiss on the cheek as she left.

Chuck, Amara, Castiel and Sam were the only ones who remained.

Sam opened his mouth but closed it. He shook his and walked in the direction for the garage, he needed to get out of here.

Castiel turned from Sam's retreating figure to look at Chuck.

"Will he come here?"

"Azazel?"

Chuck shook his head.

"No. He's more concerned with Raphael at the moment."

Castiel nodded.

"Heaven is better. Or at least it's more stable with Michael and Lucifer now. Why is Raphael not there?"

Chuck sighed and shook his head,

"He thinks there's no point, that everything will fall apart."

Castiel nodded and flew away.

Chuck sighed and finally stood up.

_"That was fun."_

Amara remained quiet for a moment.

_"He needs to earn his place."_

_"In heaven?"_

Amara shook her head as they both appeared back in their apartment.

"By Raphael's side."

Chuck nodded.

"How?"

Amara shrugged,

"The easiest way would be for him to earn the Winchester's forgiveness. But —"

"Yeah that won't happen."

Amara sighed and nodded.

Chuck suddenly smiled and snapped his fingers, the scenery changed. Amara blinked and looked around.

The air smelled sweeter, the atmosphere seemed lighter, happier.

"Welcome to Avalon."

He said smiling, he opened his arms to let Mana run free.

She barked and pranced in delight - chasing insects and sniffing at reflection pools.

Chuck came to sit next to her,

"I know why you're so invested in them."

He said after a while his tone gentle. Amara raised an eyebrow.

"Oh?"

"They are us aren't they to you? A different parable of the same story. If we can reconcile, if Michael and Lucifer can go this long without killing each other, surely they can too right?"

"Where are you going with this?"

Chuck finally turned to her,

"Believe me it's the same for me. I want them to work out. I want at least someone to choose Raphael when no one else did. I want him to smile again. I want my - our family back together."

Amara nodded.

"So why do I feel like they're more fractured than ever?"

Chuck shrugged.

"Because of the drama? I mean I don't think either of us thought they'd all just suddenly get along."

Amara shook her head.

"I just wished it wouldn't have to hurt this much. I just wish there wasn't so much anger from everyone."

"I know, I'm not trying to justify what I did, but that is one of the main reasons why I left. We care too much, we _feel_ too much. More so than any human can comprehend. If I had stayed I would have lost it."

Amara nodded, for the first time understanding his point without being clouded by anger.

"Is that why we came here?"

"Yes. Avalon is - it's beautiful, it has its problems sure, but the peace and love between everyone here far outweighs all of that."

Amara finally relaxed and lied down on the soft grass.

_"I never realized how exhausting Earth was."_

_"Usually the exhaustion is worth all the beauty and ingenuity."_

_"Usually?"_

_"Yes. Recently it feels stifling."_

_"You sure that's not because of your ego and Lucifer's pride?"_

Chuck laughed as he to lie down next to her.

Chuck watched as she slowly relaxed. She deserved it, after all the Lucifer drama and now this. He stifled another sigh.

He sat back up and instead focused on Mana. He could feel the gentle tug of a smile. She really was adorable, his very first "niece" and she was perfect. It was turning out better than he could have hoped for.

**Mana:**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What should Amara's new creation be called (the species, like Chuck has angels).
> 
> Oh, anyone interested on the archangels during all of this? Like their POV?
> 
> I might do something with that. Maybe. Let me know if you'd find that interesting!


	15. Outback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Amara and Chuck travel to Australia for some sunshine, and get some Chaos thrown in.

Amara and Chuck appeared on the beach, Metatron grumbled as they walked down the boardwalk.

Mana and Toto raced to the water, yapping and nipping at each other. Metatron finally sank down onto a beach towel a book in hand.

Amara sat down an ice cream in hand - she was beginning to get very fond of them.

Chuck sat next to her when a voice made them turn.

"It must be fate."

Chuck and Amara's essences stilled. It was him, the man from that ice cream parlor.

Amara flashed a smile.

"Hello, what are you doing in Australia?"

The man shrugged squatting down next to them. Chuck tried not to glare, at least he didn't state at her body.

"Family on my dad's side. You never called me."

Chuck rose an eyebrow, seriously?

Amara shrugged,

"You didn't seem that interesting."

Chuck snorted looking away. The man rose and offered her his hand.

"Well I bet I can change that if you'd allow me?"

Amara stilled for a second.

_"Go."_

_"You'll be fine?"_

_"I'll watch Mana."_

_"And Metatron and Toto?"_

Chuck tried not to roll his eyes.

_"You know for someone who called him a scribe you seem to like him a lot."_

Amara took the man's hand and rose, she gave her cone to Chuck. He glared as she ruffled his hair.

The man beamed as she turned back to him.

"I'm Damien by the way."

"He who tames, I'm Amara."

"Pleasant, tranquility, well from what I've seen - it's apt."

Chuck grinned as she giggled. He tuned her out and turned his attention to the dogs who were scrambling over rocks. Well Mana was, Toto was barking at her to come back.

"Hello Father."

Metatron tensed and Chuck turned to see... Someone.

"Uh, hello?"

Metatron eyes narrowed as the angel came more into view. Metatron and Chuck greeted him,

"Joshua."

Joshua inclined his head.

"Are the archangels that bad you need him back?"

Joshua tilted his head,

"You tell me, you saw them at their worst."

Metatron huffed and went back to his book.

Chuck gave a warm smile and patted the blanket next to him.

"Come sit."

Joshua looked pained for a second,

"Or don't. It's alright. What's wrong Joshua?"

Joshua sighed and looked down at the ground.

"Heaven is in better shape, but —"

"But what?"

"Joshua leave."

Metatron tensed, Joshua turned and looked up to see Michael.

"Brother I —"

"You are bothering Father, leave."

"Michael it's al —"

Chuck stood, titling his head, he felt it again.

He appeared near the sea. He flinched as he felt the pain run up his spine.

He appeared in a cave nearby, he was closer now. Close enough to hear words.

"This is for all the pain you both caused."

"Let me go."

"No. Not till you feel what it's like to be violated, what's it like to have your walls stripped and let bare before someone."

"Let. Me. Go."

Chuck's power swirled but he could feel her telling him to not come.

He felt a shockwave through the ground one moment, the next she stood in front of him. Her eyes wild, her essence tense and coiled ready for a fight.

He gently brushed his against hers. She flinched away. He saw red.

Damien lay before him a world away, looking at him bewildered and then angry.

"What do you want?"

"What did we do to you?"

"You took it, my power, my prestige, my image."

"What?"

Chuck circled him, their power crackled against each other. They were alone, in a universe away from everyone.

Damien's power flared as Chuck's went to prob him.

Chuck stilled and stepped back.

"You shouldn't be here."

"You think?"

Damien spat standing, he glared as he dusted the dirt off himself.

"Your squabbling destroyed my plane, all my experiments, everything."

Chuck glared.

"And? What? Do you want an apology too?"

Damien took a step toward him,

"The others don't know they —"

"Also don't care, you know that."

"True."

Damien titled his head, his eyes shinned.

"Unless I make them."

"You can't."

Amara said appearing around them.

She solidified a little bit away, watching them.

"I can."

Damien countered.

Chuck looked between them,

"Sister he needs to be erased."

"No. No, he needs to be useful."

They both took a step forward. Damien's laughter made them turn to him.

He gestured between them,

"Look at you, you can't even agree on what to do with me. How long will this peace of yours last? How many more planes will you both destroy before everyone agrees you need to be erased?"

He took a step forward his power raising over them — chaos embodiment. It dwarfed them both, but together they might have a chance to —

Waves of gray began to lap on the edges of the universe they were in. All three of them tensed. Fear saturated the air.

"No."

Damien breathed — his power spiked in dread. Chuck fought to keep his own essence in check as Amara's churned trying to hide them all.

"Sister it will do no good. They're coming."

Damien intoned. Chuck's tether snapped — lunging at him. Amara watched in shock as they both grappled physically, and tore into each other metaphysically. Leaving gaping wounds of leaking essences, and bleeding gashed along their physical vessels.

The gray waves began to shake the universe as it came closer. Amara took a step forward only for Chuck to pin Damien to the ground.

"You're not family, she is not yours. She is **_mine_**. _My_ sister, _my_ family, **_my kin_**. You are _nothing_."

Damien struggled, screaming in fury and spewing vitriol. Chuck's essence became a needle point rising high, ready to impale him.

Amara turned her senses to the waves of gray again, they had gained more ground.

She reached out for Chuck only to stumble and fall to the ground in pain.

Damien laughed in triumph as Chuck looked over in concern.

Her essence was in tethers, her focus going in and out.

Chuck tried to move for her, only to be thrown farther away. Damien staggered to his feet and laughed manically.

"If I'm going out, so are you both! We will all ride to the Delta together!"

Chuck crawled toward her, she fought to keep consciousness. Fear gave way to full blown terror as the waves of gray lapped closer.

Chuck's hand clasped her, they held each other close as the waves rose high and crashed down all around them.

Slowly awareness came back to them.

They were okay, they had not been erased. They both wiggled and sensed the cradle they had felt at their first awareness.

They were okay. They held each other tightly, unable and unwanting to move.

They both tensed as they felt another wave coming, they both moved, appearing in Chuck's universe. They both turned in time to see the universe they had been sealing up behind them — making it into another plane, a separate plane from their own.

They came back to see the sun still shining, Michael, Metatron and Joshua speaking in heated tones. Damien's presence and vessel were nowhere to be found — it was as if he had never existed.

Weeks went by, months later they sat together in a rare night in, when Amara finally brought it up.

"Why were we spared?"

Chuck looked at her pausing the tv.

"Maybe we have potential?"

Amara gave him a dry look.

"No, you know they are not discriminatory."

Chuck nodded and pondered it for a while.

"Maybe,"

He said slowly some hours later.

"The only thing that makes sense was that it was a correction of imbalance. Damien and us should never have been together. And as long Damien did nothing he was safe. Us all fighting provided to be too much of a power concentration — enough for Them to have to correct for it. That's the only thing that makes sense."

Amara nodded.

"Yes that makes sense. After all, all we are is insignificant blimps to Them."

Chuck nodded, his hand coming to squeeze hers.

"Yeah, you would think after all this time it would be easier to accept."

Amara nodded and squeezed back.

_"But it feels harder."_

_"Yeah it does."_


	16. Family Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Chuck and Amara make a bet, and Chuck starts understanding his children a little better.

Chuck sat at his computer a few weeks later, trying to think of his next chapter, he wanted to talk about the other religions - he just didn't know how to start the chapter.

He sighed and stood. As he stretched he thought maybe some air would do him good. He turned his thoughts to his sons as he appeared on Earth.

Their first meeting hadn't been ideal. What with Raphael's apathy, Michael's anguish and Lucifer's anger.

Chuck sighed as the memory repeated itself in his head.

*******

_"Raphael your family! Of course we want you home!"_

_Raphael had turned away, his back stiffened._

_"Why? I have brought nothing but suffering to Heaven, to everyone. I am a failure. I failed you Michael."_

_Michael had looked crestfallen. Azazel's hands had clenched and he'd looked away. It was Lucifer who had broken the tense silence._

_"You think I am any different? I destroyed him Raphael, I - I am the reason you are like how you are. I'm more of a failure than you'll ever be. All you tried to do was help Heaven."_

_Raphael whirled on Lucifer._

_"They won't see it like that! They hate me! They —"_

_"Who cares what they think?? Who cares what any of them think? They're drones! They're not worth your time!"_

_Raphael glared at him._

_"I know you aren't that callous! I know you care!"_

_Lucifer blinked before shrugging._

_"I care about you, Michael and Gabriel. And Dad. That's it."_

_Azazel finally got up and walked toward Raphael._

_"Raph, why don't you all get away for a while? Maybe a week or two, just to relax."_

_Raphael blinked looking between him and his brothers. His hand came to curl against Azazel's cheek._

_"But I just got you back."_

_He murmured sounding heartbroken._

_Azazel smiled, catching the hand and giving it a soft kiss._

_"And I'll be here when you get back. Go."_

_Raphael sighed before nodding. Michael smiled, sending Azazel a nod which he pretended not to notice. Azazel spun to look at Lucifer._

_"Anything you want me to do while you're gone?"_

_Lucifer thought for a moment,_

_"Get rid of Crowley. He's overstayed his welcome."_

_Azazel nodded, before sending him a smile. He turned catching Raphael's arm as he opened his wings._

_Azazel leaned to give him a slow kiss, one Raphael hungrily returned. Michael watched on with a soft smile, Lucifer rolled his eyes._

_Azazel pulled away with a grin._

_"Remember to try okay?"_

_Raphael smiled, pulling Azazel to him._

_"Is that what I get if do?"_

_Azazel smirked, his voice went husky._

_"That. And so much more."_

_Azazel stepped away, waving as they all flew off._

*******

Chuck chuckled at the display, at least Azazel was good at diffusing tense situations, that is when he wanted to of course.

He decided to visit the Winchesters on a whim. Sam, Dean, Castiel, and Mary looked up as he appeared. Chuck rose an eyebrow, as he felt the tense silence.

"Am I interrupting something?"

Sam and Dean shared a look, Mary was nodding while Castiel looked at all with concern and worry. He didn't look to approve.

Sam sighed and turned to Chuck.

"We want to talk to Azazel."

Chuck blinked.

"Are you sure that's such a good idea?"

Dean spoke up.

"Look Cass has been telling us what he's been doing in Heaven. Is it true they actually like him?"

Chuck cast his awareness to Heaven to see if it was true. It was more or less accurate. Azazel could make himself very personable when he wanted to, at the moment he was in animated discussion with Joshua about the growth rate of The Garden and how the moods of Heaven affected it if at all.

Chuck brought his awareness back to Dean and decided to sit down.

"He is, well they're less wary around him than they are around let's say Castiel."

Cass looked down at the table, his jaw worked.

"Why? He fell as well, it is known he sided with Lucifer. Why do they choose to trust him? To ally with him?"

Chuck blinked and looked at them each in turn.

"Do you really want to do this? I can't promise he'll be cooperative, or even cordial."

Mary spoke next, her words were hard and held a note of finality.

"Yes."

Chuck sighed and stood.

"Fine, but Amara or I will be present. I don't really trust any of you to not try to kill him."

Sam blinked,

"What about the archangels? Where's Raphael?"

Chuck shrugged.

"Bonding. I think. I'll go get Azazel. Hold on."

He appeared in The Garden, careful that he didn't alert all of Heaven.

Joshua and Azazel looked up, both standing a moment later. Though Chuck could tell it was for very different reasons. Joshua's was out of respect, Azazel's more out of formality.

Chuck gave them a small smile.

"Hello sons. Azazel may I borrow you for a moment?"

Azazel stiffened he opened his mouth only to turn to Joshua as he jabbed Azazel with his wing.

Azazel looked back at Chuck and closed his mouth before taking a step toward him. He turned back to Joshua.

"Thank you for taking the time to talk to me brother, it was fascinating. Your work is under appreciated."

Joshua smiled and gave a nod.

"I thank you, and Good luck brother."

Azazel nodded and Chuck teleported them a little ways away from the bunker. Enough they could spend the walk talking.

Azazel looked at him and his demure changed.

"What do you want?"

Chuck sighed and gestured to the path ahead of them.

"Relax Azazel. I'm not here to hurt you."

Azazel laughed and shook his head.

"Is that why you think I'm annoyed?"

Chuck shrugged.

"More or less. So if that's not it, why are you annoyed?"

Azazel stopped and stared at him.

"Are they okay? You didn't come here to tell me that something happened did you?"

Chuck blinked his face softened.

"They're fine. I'm here for an entirely different reason."

Azazel relaxed and nodded.

"The Winchesters want to talk to you."

Azazel scowled, and turned away.

"Yeah, I have better things to do than listen to them. I'll pass."

"Don't you dare turn your back on me. Turn around."

Azazel reluctantly looked back at Chuck, his eyes bright with defiance.

Chuck took a step closer, his voice going quiet.

"Don't disrespect my time again. Is that clear son?"

Azazel glared but finally nodded, his eyes looked down at the ground.

"Yes."

"Yes what? Look up and speak."

Azazel's back straightened as he snapped his head up.

"Yes sir, I won't waste your time again."

Chuck nodded satisfied. He took a step back, the tension between them disappearing.

"So how is Raphael?"

Azazel shot him a guarded look before shoving his hands in his pockets and trudging along.

"He's - he's cracked. He thinks everyone hates him, and for the most part he's right, I just wish he'd notice the ones who don't hate him and still love him."

Azazel shook his head trying to clear it before he spoke again.

"Heaven isn't happy with your decision about Lucifer by the way."

Chuck shrugged as Azazel looked back at him.

"They don't have to be, they just need to respect it."

Azazel nodded.

"Or they can take matters into their own hands and do something about it. There's murmurings, somethings going to happen."

Chuck looked at him.

"You've been back what a month? Two? How do you even know any of this?"

Azazel gave him a tired grin.

"Joshua, and I've been back for three."

Chuck shook his head.

"Still why is Joshua telling you this? You're loyalty to Lucifer is not really a secret."

Azazel nodded.

"I am. But those who are old enough to remember me know I help those who help me. I always come through."

Chuck stopped for a moment and he stared at him. This was the first time in a while that one of his children had surprised him.

"You wanted them to leave didn't you? You planned this."

Azazel grinned at hearing the pride in his voice but shook his head.

"I didn't plan everything. But yes, I wanted them to leave. With them gone Heaven can relax and I can find out any plans before it comes to fruition. That and Raphael needed a break."

Chuck smiled.

"Is there anything you don't plan?"

Azazel gave a wistful smile.

"Falling in love. Didn't plan that one."

Chuck gave him a soft smile he really was happy for Raphael, he deserved to be happy. He looked up feeling the tension sink into his shoulders again. They had arrived.

"Okay here's how this works, you won't be alone. I or Amara will be here."

Azazel glanced back at him.

"Aren't you a little bit curious to know why Raphael fell in love with me?"

Chuck smiled.

"I am. Though I don't think Sam and Dean particularly care about that. They're a little more concerned with what you did to them."

Azazel shrugged.

"But Sam will bring up what I did to her, it'd be easy to steer the conversion from there."

Chuck gave him a searching look.

"Why are you so insistent I know?"

He asked quietly.

Azazel gave a purposeful nonchalant shrug - one that Chuck didn't believe  before looking at the Bunker.

"I - maybe I want you to really know me. Maybe I'm worried that if I don't forge some kind of personal connection with you it'll be easy for you to let me die again."

Chuck stiffened at his soft tone.

"I won't and it wasn't easy. Azazel I —"

"Tell that to my Garrison. Tell that to Tamiel whose only crime was trying to stay alive. Tell that to the nephilim that your favorite killed!"

Azazel's chest heaved his eyes bright with anger before he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Just stay. Please?"

Chuck nodded.

"I will, but you need to be completely honest with me and them, I won't tolerate any doublespeak."

Azazel nodded. He kicked at the dirt before looking up at Chuck.

"In that case, the other reason I want you to stay is less personal and more political. I'm one of the few Fallen remaining. I know you only know us for following Lucifer but as the unofficial representative of them, I want you to know we wer — _are_ more than just that."

Chuck nodded.

"Alright. I can get behind that. I'll keep an open mind."

Azazel relaxed and nodded. Chuck snapped them into The Bunker.

Chuck went to stand against the wall and watched.

Azazel looked around, letting out a low whistle.

"I see you find the Men of Letters. Well done, I'm impressed."

He moved, beginning to walk around the Bunker as if there was no hurry, as if he owned the place.

Dean glared at him, Sam clenched his jaw. Azazel turned as he heard footsteps coming down the hallway.

"Mary, it's so nice to see you again."

Mary's face hardened but Azazel had already looked past her to the figure coming in behind her.

"Castiel I either owe you a bottle of champagne or a blade to the back, I'll let you choose."

Azazel watched with a smile as Castiel approached him. His hands clasped behind his back gave him a relaxed posture.

"Why? Why are they trusting you?"

Azazel blinked and gave him an amused look.

"As opposed to what? Trusting you?"

"I never betrayed Heaven for Lucifer."

Castiel spat at him.

Azazel turned fully.

"No. But I never betrayed them for humanity. You want to know why they trust me? It's because I live by one philosophy - help me and I'll help you. Be loyal to me and I'll return the favor."

Castiel glowered at him.

"Do you actually expect me to believe that? The only one you have ever been loyal to is Lucifer. You couldn't even stand by your mate."

Azazel's face hardened.

_"Don't **test** me."_

He ground out.

Castiel scoffed,

"Oh please, you won't do anything to me."

"I wouldn't expect you to understand, after all how many times did you throw them away for Sam and Dean?"

Castiel clenched his hands and took a step toward him.

"I am loyal. I will always choose Sam and Dean."

Azazel crossed his arms and looked at him.

"Yes, I know. Heaven knows. But that's your downfall. You'll always choose them, over your own family. I won't. I will choose them."

Castiel's jaw worked.

"So tell me Lucifer or Raphael?"

"Lucifer."

Castiel gestured to him and turned away.

Azazel moved after him.

"You act surprised. Ask me, who would I choose Michael or Raphael?"

"It's not important, you will never go against Lucifer, you'll always choose him. You're as loyal as I am!"

"But I'm not blindingly so! Castiel be loyal, but be smart! You could do so much more for Heaven, for your humans if you just took the time to think!"

Castiel whirled, his blade slid into his hand.

Chuck finally spoke up.

"Castiel, put that away. There's no need for it."

The humans jumped seemingly forgetting he'd been here. Castiel glared at him before putting away.

Azazel clapped his hands, gathering everyone's attention again.

"Alright, let's play a game. Sam and Dean are separated, they're both going to die. You can only save one, who do you choose?"

Sam and Dean stiffened. Castiel growled but Azazel rolled his eyes.

"I'm not going to do anything, it's a hypothetical. Relax. So who do you choose?"

Azazel and Castiel stared at each other for a long moment. Finally Castiel ground out an answer.

"Dean."

Azazel nodded, he pulled out a chair at one of the vacant tables and pointed at Castiel.

"Why?"

Castiel rolled his eyes. Azazel gave him a look.

"Just play along, it's worth it."

"Because he's family."

Azazel nodded and leaned his arms onto the desk.

"I would have said the same, but not for such a vague reason. Do you know what hunters value above killing anything that's not human?"

Castiel paused and narrowed his eyes.

"They kill monsters."

Azazel nodded.

"How long do you think before angels join that list? It's no secret they don't like us."

Castiel stiffened, Chuck jumped in again. Azazel was trying to steer the conversation away from the issue at hand.

"Azazel, stay on point."

Azazel glanced at him before nodding.

"Hunters value debts, Dean hates me, but he hates that he'd be indebted to me more."

Castiel shook his head.

"If your trying to get Dean to do your bidding, he won't. He values his brother over his own life."

Azazel nodded as he leaned back in his chair.

"Yes, but who says I'm saving him because I need his skills? I would save him because somewhere down the line he'd be useful."

Azazel rose, bracing his arms on the table.

"Look, I have a special affinity for Boy-King over there, but let's be honest. It's Dean that's more valuable. He's the one that brought light and dark together, who saved the universe. It's more prudent for me to have him alive and somewhere safe than dead."

Castiel blinked and titled his head. Chuck shook his head as Dean looked object. Now was not the time.

"What does that have to do with "smarts"?"

Azazel grinned.

"You thought through the choice from an emotional point of view didn't you, which one you could bare to live without, right?"

Castiel gave a reluctant nod, he didn't turn to see Sam or Dean's expressions.

Azazel straightened, leaning his hip against the table's edge.

"If you had thought of it with some logical, even better if you had detached yourself completely from them, you would have realized you could have saved one and gone back in time for the other."

Castiel looked away. Azazel pressed on.

"I am not as blindingly loyal to him as you all seem to think I am. For example,"

He turned to Chuck.

"Can you do me a favor and make sure Heaven doesn't hear this next part?"

Chuck nodded, he snapped his hand. Sigils glowed on the walls in response.

He looked to Dean.

"Call Crowley."

Dean opened his mouth, but just rolled his eyes and brought his phone out.

"Come to the Bunker."

"Hello — what do you want?"

Azazel grinned and walked toward him.

"Crowley! How have you been?"

Crowley didn't answer just crossed his arms and waited.

"So Lucifer wants you dead."

Azazel said finally breaking the silence.

Crowley quirked an eyebrow.

"Oh? You telling me this to give me a head start?"

Azazel shook his head. He turned to Chuck.

"I'm going to try my hardest to kill him, can you make sure I don't succeed?"

Chuck blinked and nodded. Azazel smiled and sagged against the wall. Crowley stared at him, something in him seemed to shift.

"You both back together then?"

He asked softly.

Azazel opened his eyes and gave a tired smile.

"Yeah."

Crowley nodded.

"What do you need?"

Azazel pushed off the wall.

"Stay out of trouble, and at the moment nothing. I'll let you know."

Crowley nodded

"Boys, Castiel."

Before he disappeared he looked back at Azazel.

"I expect you to stay alive Aza."

Azazel smiled at him before nodding.

"I will, don't worry."

Chuck hid his smile as he saw Castiel's confusion, he wasn't about to give away that plot twist.

Azazel turned away from Castiel's stare and walked to the head of the table Sam and Dean were sitting in.

"Alright let's here it Sam."

Castiel cut in before Sam could speak.

"That's not loyalty. That's just using people like you always have!"

Azazel looked at him impassively.

"Is it? Really? What if when everyone knows? What if Crowley knows? Am I using him then?"

Castiel glared at him.

"You and Raphael deserve each other, two people who have no regard anyone but themselves.... I hope you are both miserable."

Chuck moved, bracing a hand on Azazel's shoulder as he lunged, and a hand out to stop Castiel.

"This meeting is done."

Chuck snapped his hand sending them both away. He sighed and gave the hunters an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, I didn't think it would escalate like that."

Sam and Dean shared a look. It was Mary who spoke up,

"He seemed more angry than I thought he would be."

Chuck gave a nod.

"He - uh probably hates how quickly Heaven rallied around Azazel. Especially when they still treat him with scorn."

"But why? They hate Lucifer, why don't they hate Azazel?"

Chuck decided to sit down next to Dean and face him to answer his question.

"Because Azazel tries while Lucifer treats them all with contempt. I'm not saying Azazel's intentions are pure but he makes a point of actually following through with what he says. Probably one of the reasons Lucifer allows him and Raphael to stay together."

Chuck shrugged before continuing. 

"Azazel has spent a lot of time cultivating an image, an idea. One that he wants preserved at all costs."

Dean snorted,

"I thought you didn't socialize with the lower angels."

Chuck shook his head.

"I don't. Today is the first time I've ever had a conversation with him. But I know how he thinks because it's how I used to think, I wanted my story to be preserved at all costs, all I cared about was my image, my brand, nothing else."

Chuck rose trying to shake the tension off his shoulders. He cleared his throat trying to drown out all his old thoughts before he gave a small smile, wave and disappeared.

He found Amara back in their apartment watching the Bachelorette.

She tisked as he appeared.

"Emily doesn't deserve Brad, he needs to go."

Chuck glanced at the tv as he went to the kitchen to get a beer.

"Dan still in the running?"

"Yes don't worry, your " _favorite_ " is still there."

Chuck rolled his eyes at her teasing tone.

"Shut up, you think he's hot too."

"Still doesn't make him my favorite, he doesn't have any of the class of David."

Chuck made a face as he walked back into the room and handed her a beer.

"Oh please, David is a tool. Dan is a hiker, loves nature, and runs his own cat rescue."

Amara rolled her eyes at him.

"David is a lawyer with a six figure paycheck and does pro-Bono cases for impoverished on the side. He's better than your..."

She took a moment searching for the word,

"Mountain Man."

Chuck beamed

"Mountain Man. I like it. Sounds better than your City Boy."

Amara glared at him.

"You want a bet?"

Chuck stuck out his hand as he sat down next to her.

"You're on."

They shook on it, Chuck paused the tv as they turned back toward it. Amara looked at him annoyed.

"So.. I spent the day with one of my children."

Amara beamed and moved so she was facing him her legs tucked under her.

"Oh? Who? How was it?"

"Azazel, and it was actually pretty informative. I mean he's still angry but I think we have somewhat of an understanding."

Amara's eyebrows shot up.

"Understanding? Within a day? What did you two do? Trust exercises?"

Chuck flicked a ball of light as her, she glanced at it snuffing it out.

"Brother."

She prodded gently, Chuck sighed.

"It all started with the Winchesters of course. They wanted to meet him...."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell I love Azazel yet?
> 
> And I'm starting to think of what I'm going to be writing from the Archangels point of view. Suggestions?


	17. Growing Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Chuck and Amara discuss types of communication and Amara makes an observation that hits closer than Chuck would like.

Amara came into the bar and paused, her hand on the back of a booth.

"Where is Metatron?"

"Hmm? Oh with Sam and Dean."

Said Chuck not looking up. He'd finally figured out how to start his chapter - "in the beginning there was my sister and I, then there was them..."

Or something to that affect, he still wasn't totally happy with it.

Amara sighed and went to the Winchesters. It's been a while since she'd seen the scribe, and while their initial meeting had been rocky - she'd begun to appreciate his honesty.

She appeared in front of The Bunker to see a lot of commotion. But she remained hidden.

Metatron was surrounded by a group of angels their blades out as they slowly advanced. He wasn't looking at them, his eyes were on Azazel who stood a few feet away watching.

"Azazel help me!"

Azazel simply rose an eyebrow and shook his head.

"You should have known your treatment of Gadreel would come back to hurt you."

Metatron sighed harshly and turned to one of the Angels with a scar down his face.

"Malachi, you don't want to do this. Father won't like seeing me hurt."

Malachi sneered at him.

"I don't think Father would care about a washed up angel like you Metatron."

"Yes, and besides we'd be doing him a favor — you're presence is unneeded."

Another angel, Bartholomew added. They advanced, swords drawn.

"The archangels are back — and what is happening?"

Amara waved Chuck to shut up.

"Stop!"

The Angels turned to see Michael striding toward them. They backed off. Metatron seemed to tense.

Michael looked at Azazel and held out his hand, becoming him over.

"Azazel, come here."

Azazel looked at him and pushed off the tree and walked toward them. He screamed falling to the ground, he glared up at Michael.

Amara flicked her eyes to see Raphael and Lucifer appearing. Michael payed them no mind. He gave Azazel a hard look.

"Leave Metatron alone. The next time I see you do anything like this, I'll take your grace and not just your sword. Is that clear?"

Azazel's eyes widened, the other angels around them gasped. Michael looked at them.

"Leave, I'll deal with you all later."

Malachi and Bartholomew sent Azazel a look before flying away.

Azazel slowly stood and glared at Michael.

"You can't be serious, he made them fall Michael. He doesn't deserve anything."

Michael ignored him and turned to Metatron, his hand coming to touch Metatron's shoulder lightly.

"Are you alright?"

Metatron nodded, he gave a dry, bitter laugh.

"It's okay, it was just words. I can deal with those."

Michael made a noise of annoyance.

"In my experience words hurt more than any weapon."

Metatron looked up at him, his eyes shinny. Amara rose an eyebrow as Azazel scowled and crossed his arms.

"He should pay Michael, he doesn't deserve your kindness."

Amara finally shook her head and cast a look at her brother.

"I thought you said he was good at keeping his emotions in check?"

Chuck rolled his eyes at her.

"He is, usually. Something must of made him lose control."

Lucifer looked at Raphael.

"Aren't you going to tell him to stop?"

Raphael shook his head.

"One, that's not how mates work Luci. Two, I agree with him, Metatron doesn't deserve our kindness."

Azazel gestured to Raphael, keeping his eyes on Michael.

"See! Even Raphael agrees with me!"

Michael finally looked at him.

"Keep talking Azazel I dare you, let's see how long I'll keep your sword then."

Azazel scowled, shooting Metatron a withering glance.

"Michael give me my sword back."

Michael paused and turned fully toward him.

"Do not order me Azazel."

Azazel glared back at him but his wings twitched with unease. He finally took a step back.

As Michael turned back as Azazel speaks again, rasing his voice.

"If this is your way of getting Heaven together it won't work, no one will rally behind him. They hate him."

Michael simply quirked a small smile.

"Well then it seems you're all able to agree on something then, right?"

Azazel growled in frustration. Lucifer finally spoke up.

"Azazel leave him alone."

Azazel turned his eyes to Lucifer, his face slack with disbelief. Dean finally spoke up, snorting.

"You don't want Metadouche to get hurt? _You_? Why?"

Azazel smiled at Dean only for him to roll his eyes as Dean glared at him.

"He helped me when he didn't need to. He sacrificed himself to help me. I won't forget that kindness."

Raphael looked between Lucifer and Michael.

"Have you two lost your minds? He made them all fall, he declared himself God. Why should we show him any kindness."

Lucifer looked at him.

"Raphael do you still love him?"

Raphael's jaw worked but he finally nodded.

"Yes."

Metatron's bottom lip quivered.

"Thank you Raphael. Thank you all for your kindness, it's been so long since anyone has said so much as a nice word to me."

Amara bit her lip, trying to her hide her laugh as she saw Castiel and Azazel roll their eyes in unison.

Metatron clutched at Michaels clothes and cast a glance at Azazel.

"I begged him to help me Micha."

"You didn't _beg_ me."

Azazel cut in.

Metatron went on undeterred, he swallowed and continued.

"I begged him, and he wouldn't help me. Michael I thought he loved me, I thought he cared about me!"

Michael pulled him close, his arms winding around him tightly.

"Apologize to him. Azazel."

Azazel stared between them. He glared at Metatron and sighed in frustration.

"Give me back my sword."

Michael shook his head,

"No."

Azazel smiled at the sky as a sword slid it into his hand.

"Thanks guys."

Lucifer sighed and appeared in front of Azazel, his sword held lazily at Azazel's neck. Just a couple more inches and Azazel would have blood running down his chest.

"Apologize."

Azazel looked between them all, his eyes lingering on Lucifer.

"Is that an order?"

Amara clicked her tongue in disappointment. Chuck nudged her in the ribs.

"Shut up."

Lucifer pressed the tip harder, breaking the skin. Azazel held his eyes for a moment before throwing his blade away and took a step back.

He walked around to Metatron. He sighed and crossed his arms.

"I'm sorry."

Metatron moved away from Michael's arms and sniffed as he met Azazel's eyes.

"I'm sorry for what I did to Gadreel. It was low. Please don't hate me."

Azazel's wings dropped as did his anger.

"Yes it was. And I'm angry but I don't hate you, you're family. I - I am glad you're alive, Meta."

Azazel blinked away his tears. Amara leaned toward her brother.

"Are your archangels actually buying this?"

Chuck snorted and shrugged.

"Maybe, most likely Michael just wants to prove a point."

"Which is?"

"No one is better than anyone else."

Amara nodded and smiled as saw Metatron and Azazel embrace, she almost believe it too. But Amara could feel as they held only contempt for each other.

Amara sighed and shook her head.

"Why? Why do all your children manipulate each other?"

Chuck put a hand on the small of her back.

"I think it's because they've forgotten to do anything else."

Chuck pulled them away as Michael gave Azazel his sword back.

They came to sit on the couch in their apartment.

"What does that even mean? Wouldn't it be easier to be honest with each other?"

Chuck gave her a tired look as she sat on the other side of the couch.

"What about us, why weren't you really honest about you wanted from me?"

Amara stiffened but didn't look away.

"Because you wouldn't have believed me."

Chuck nodded, that was true.

"But why else, I know there's another reason. You're not as impulsive as they think."

Amara's lips thinned.

"It made me... I would have given too much away. It would have hurt more if you acted as I expected and attacked anyway."

Chuck nodded.

"In other words, you would have felt too vulnerable. Hence why I hid — I couldn't face you. Anger was my way of hiding my pain."

Amara blinked at him before stretching on the sofa, her feet coming to lay in his lap.

"So you think they're just too scared to be vulnerable?"

Chuck nodded.

"That, and they don't see a reason to stop. It's not like getting along will help them."

Sarcasm was evident in his tone. Amara smirked.

"Of course how could they think acting even remotely cordial would benefit anyone?"

Said said sarcastically.

Chuck laughed and nodded.

"Exactly."

He picked the remote up.

"Want to watch The Bachelorette?"

Amara nodded.

"Sure, I'll get ice cream."

Chuck sighed as he heard a knock on the apartment door.

"What is it Michael?"

He called. Michael appeared standing next to the sofa.

"Metatron should be given his grace back."

Chuck shook his head.

"No, that isn't a good idea."

Michael narrowed his eyes.

"Lucifer has done worse, yet he kept his. As has Raphael and I. What makes Metatron different?"

Chuck sighed and gave him a tired look.

"I know what you're trying to do, I heard you're speech in The Empty. Find another way to make them see you differently."

Michael stared at him before flying away.

Amara handed him a bowl of cookie dough and sat down next to him.

"You shouldn't have told him that. Why did you?"

Chuck shrugged,

"I listened because I wasn't sure how it would go. I was nervous. Look what Michael is trying to do is admirable but I won't have him go against me to achieve it."

"You heard everything he said right?"

Chuck glared at her.

"Yes, and Michael is loyal, above all else he is loyal. He wouldn't do that."

"You underestimate how much he loves his brothers."

Amara said eating a spoonful of ice cream.

"Besides I thought they're little scrimmage was cancelled."

Chuck nodded and paused the tv.

"It is. They don't know that, but it is. And it's more about the principle."

Amara just gazed him cooly.

"You just don't want to admit your son is growing up."

Chuck rolled his eyes and pressed play, deciding instead to ignore her. Amara got settled and didn't hide the triumphant smile as she watched. She grinned as Dan was kicked off.

She held out a hand,

"Pay up."


	18. Workshop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Chuck and Amara debate the case for sentience and Chuck gets nostalgic.

Chuck walked around the earth, relaxing in the peace he was feeling from everywhere. The archangels were getting along better than ever. Metatron and Amara were getting to know each other. All in all everything was going well.

Chuck came into his workshop, he waved his hand silencing the alarm before it could ring. He weaved between the stacks of boxes and piles of clutter to his desk drawer.

He pulled it open and held up a horn, he slid his hands over it gently. Remembering how happy his so had been to receive the gift.

He felt a wistful smile cross his face as he looked at it. He moved from there back to The Bar. Remembering to turn the alarm and lock the doors as he left.

He couldn't have just anyone enter his workshop now could he?

Amara and Metatron looked up as he placed the horn on the table in front of them.

Amara rose an eyebrow and swiped a delicate finger over the rim. She looked up as rubbed her thumb and pointer finger together.

"It's dusty. Why did you bring this old piece of junk here?"

Metatron let out a low gasp.

"It's Gabriel's horn. You're brining Gabriel back aren't you?"

Chuck nodded. Metatron seemed extra excited about this news. Chuck inwardly shrugged, who Metatron choose to keep company with wasn't his concern. As long it didn't affect his work at editing he didn't care.

Speaking of editing....

"Metatron did you get a chance to look at my chapter?"

Metatron nodded and stood going to the couch where he back lay. He pet Mana and Toto distractedly as he went. Chuck caught Amara's eye and they both smiled. It was nice to see Mana make a friend.

_"So are you going to really do it?"_

_"Make her sentient and bipedal?"_

Chuck nodded. Amara shrugged.

_"I'm not sure."_

They turned their attention to Metatron as he came back and put Chuck's chapter down.

_"If you do Sister, you might have to adopt Toto and do the same for him."_

Amara snorted, looking at Chuck with surprise. She shook her head.

_"That's a terrible idea. She's more smarted than that dog."_

_"Someone's protective. What you don't want to see her get her heartbroken?"_

_"She's too good for someone Toto."_

Chuck didn't respond, he turned his attention back to Metatron who was pointing to his open sentence.

"I really like this chapter, it was a good balance of God and observer. You didn't try to dominate or diminish anyone. I like the explicit state me that religious affiliation had no bearing on afterlife placement. It's just this first sentence is awkward."

Chuck nodded.

"I know, I thought that too. Any ideas on how to fix it?"

Metatron put his glasses on and pulled the paper close to him to look at again.

"Maybe don't talk about the Pagans as an afterthought? Make it sound equal."

"But we're not equal."

Amara pointed out.

Chuck nodded.

"Yeah we're not. But I get the sentiment. I think I have an idea."

Metatron nodded and stood letting Chuck come into the booth. He stood and waited. Chuck looked back at him.

"Yes?"

"Can you send me to Earth?"

Chuck nodded and waved him away.

Chuck turned to Amara.

"You know when Raphael fell in love I was terrified. I mean I implicitly trusted Azazel and all of that. But this was Raphael, he was sweet and gentle. He took the slightest criticism to heart."

Amara nodded.

"You're not helping Toto's case."

Chuck shook his head.

"I'm just saying, it's going to happen no matter what you do. It's something you have to accept."

Amara stared at him.

"So what was it like?"

Chuck blinked at her.

"What was what like?"

"Seeing Raphael get his heart broken?"

"Devastating. Especially when I couldn't do anything to stop it."

Amara fixed him with a look. It irked her to see Chuck engaging in this type of whitewashing of the facts.

"You could have, you just chose to do nothing."

Chuck fixed her with a glare and stood.

"I done need to take this so I'm going to leave. I'll be at the diner if you need me."

Amara rolled her eyes.

_"Yes go run to you're messenger. Can't wait to see you tattle on me."_

Chuck didn't respond but Amara could feel him prickle with annoyance in their connection.


	19. Parenthood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Amara and Chuck create a world of cats and Amara takes a risk.

Chuck and Amara stumbled back to their apartment at high noon exhausted.

They looked at each other and began to laugh.

"Did we seriously just create a world of cats?"

Chuck nodded he smiled at her.

"Yes. Though to be fair you're the one who suggested we do it."

Amara rolled her eyes and shoved him.

"I didn't suggest anything, I simply said we should get a cat and then you started to create lions and tigers."

Chuck stuck his tongue at her.

"You didn't really stop me."

Amara shook her head and let out a chuckle.

"I feel bad though, that world was for the Levithans but I can't bring myself to destroy it."

Chuck smiled giddily. Before forcing him to shrug as if it was no big deal.

"It was a prototype I can make more, it's not hard."

Amara gave him a soft smile, a kiss on the cheek before bringing them to The Bar.

She stopped as she spotted Mana fast asleep. Her hand went slowly to her head her fingers digging into the fur.

Chuck paused and didn't speak. He waited for her to make her decision.

Amara pressed her lips together in a thin line as she debated what to do.

She wanted this, she really did. But what if Mana got hurt? What if her nephews hurt her? What if Chuck....

She shook her head casting that thought aside. Her brother was many things, but not a murder.

And she wanted this. For the first time in a long time she wanted to take care of something, an instinct she thought she had killed after her brother betrayed her.

She let out a deep sigh.

"Okay."

Okay I can do this. I can take care of a child. Of my child.

She gently picked Mana up and held her close. Though her brother and her were opposites creating life was something they both could do.

Though Chuck had taught her how to put in enough of their power that it didn't corrode the organism.

Something which had happened to his Levithans and her Rabids.

Mana was different, she could tell. Mana was sweet, kind, adventurous, loyal.

Skiados. The word popped in her head.

Shadow. Shadow of mine. Late Greek origin.

As Mana's form changed, Amara smiled it was perfect.

She was her little shadow.

Chuck cooed as he saw the little girl on his sister's — no her mother's lap.

His niece.

He was an uncle.

He crouched in front of them, they both laughed as Mana turned away into her mother's chest.

"Oh she's beautiful sister. I love her already."

Thy heard the door open and Mana looked up and pointed with a few teeth showing.

"Meta!"

Chuck laughed and nodded.

"Yes darling, that's Metatron. Metatron come say hello to your cousin."

Metatron froze and looked between all three of them.

"Wasn't she a dog like a few hours ago?"

Chuck turned and glared at her and Amara held her closer.

"It's the template just changed form, I did it with the archangels and Levithans. They both come from the primordial stuff but just didn't ingredients. Now come say hello."

Chuck emphasized. He turned when he felt his sisters eyes on him.

"You're scaring her."

Chuck bit his lip so he didn't say Amara had done the same with Michael.

Metatron slowly ambled forward and held out his arms with a soft smile.

"Hey Mana."

"Meta!"

She screamed in delight trying to get out of Amara's grip. Chuck smiled as he watched, his hand coming to smooth over her hair.

He shifted as he heard frantic prayers in his head. Michael was calling him.

Chuck sighed and dropped a kiss to his niece and his sister before appearing in front of Michael.

But as he appeared cold dread washed through him. He ran crouching in front of Lucifer and quickly healed him.

He looked up and Michael with barley concealed anger only for it to abate as he took in how distraught Michael looked.

"Michael what happened? Who did this?"

Michael shook his head burying his head in Lucifer's wings. Lucifer grunted and tried to push him away. He fixed Chuck with an icy glare.

"Raphael. Raphael did this."

Chuck blinked now throughly confused. He'd taken his eye off his sons for what a day? What could have happened in 24hours that turned them from brothers to this?

"Lucifer what —"

Lucifer finally wrenched away from Michael and looked in the direction of a nearby clearing.

"He's going to pay."

"Lucifer don't. He didn't know what he was doing."

Michael looked up at him pleading. Chuck sat back and watched.

"Didn't know what he was doing?! Michael he tried to kill me! He could have killed me! No, no I'm done. He pays for what's he's done."

"Lucifer d—"

But Lucifer had already left. Michael hung his head. Chuck took a breath. He'd worry about his other children later, Michael looked close to breaking. Michael needed him.

"Hey Michael, can you come with me? I want you to meet someone."

Michael looked up at him, his eyes unseeing. He nodded.

Chuck grasped his arm and brought them to The Bar. He moved out of Michael's eyeline and gestured to Mana who was currently giggling as Toto licked her.

"Meet your cousin, Mana."

As Chuck turned back he saw in time as the color in Michael seemed to drain from his face and he vanished.

Chuck sighed, Amara snorted and gently handed Mana over to Metatron before coming to stand next to him.

"Well that's now how I thought that would go. What happened?"

Chuck shook his head with a sigh.

"Raphael stabbed Lucifer and now —"

"What? Is he alright?"

Chuck paused as he noted the concern in her voice. He moved on so he didn't overthink it.

"He's fine, angry but fine. He swore Raphael would regret the decision."

Amara nodded and looked back as Mana giggled loudly. She gave a soft smile as Metatron beamed and tickled her again.

"I didn't know Metatron was so good with children."

Chuck pulled himself from his thoughts and glanced at the couch and shrugged.

"Most of the Angels have helped raise their siblings at some point or another, so it's not that shocking."

Amara nodded and looked back at her brother and forced herself to focus on her nephews for the moment.

"So why were you with Michael and not stopping Lucifer?"

Chuck gave her a tired look.

"Michael needs me. Lucifer is beyond the point of listening to anyone. He would retaliate regardless of what happened."

Amara looked at him crossed her arms.

_"So now what?"_

_"I'm going to find him, just keep the others in your sphere of awareness okay?"_

Amara nodded, turning away from her brother she flicker her hand to show her nephews and walked back to the couch. Metatron turned and watched.

Amara flicked her eyes to see  
Lucifer saying something to Azazel who took a step back and flew away. Amara turned away as Mana tugged on her wrist and exclaimed.

"Mama!"

Amara beamed slightly surprised as she felt her eyes well up.

Chuck meanwhile found Michael sitting on a cliff side listening as the waves crashed far below him.

The whole scene reminded him eerily of that scene from New Moon when Bella looses it. Chuck knows logically Michael won't get hurt if he were to hurtle himself over the edge but Chuck pulls him a little always from the edge all the same.

Michael looks up at him, his gaze dull.

"Michael why did you run?"

Did you really hate Amara that much that you can't come to love your cousin?

Chuck bit back the impulse to ask that accusatory question. Michael wasn't one to hate children.

Michael stared at him for a moment before wrenching away and spinning to look down at him.

"I can't do it. I can't take care of anyone else. Father I can't, I - I don't have anymore energy. I can't I —"

Chuck moved cupping Michael's face.

"Michael, what are you talking about?"

Michael tried to pull away when he couldn't he settled for diverting his gaze to the side.

"She's family. She's my responsibility and I can't do it. I don't —"

"Michael she's not your responsibility, she's Amara's. She's —"

Chuck stumbled slightly surprised as Michael pushed him away. Michael glared at him.

"Yes she it. She is my cousin, she is family. I'm the eldest. She's my responsibility."

Chuck took a second to close his eyes and not glare at him. He opened is eyes and settle for nodding.

"Okay, you're right. But that doesn't mean you had to run away."

Michael growled at him,

"Of course I did, if I'm this concerned now what do you think will happen if I actually hold her? What if Lucifer finds out and hurts her? Or —"

"Michael take a breath, slow down. She's too young to be by herself let alone going anywhere without one of us. Did you ever take a moment for yourself yet?"

Michael stiffened and looked away. Chuck sighed so that meant no. He stared at Michael for a moment before an idea came to him.

It was bizarre enough that it might work.

"Michael can I show you something?"

Michael looked and titled his head. Chuck didn't blame him for his confusion.

"Father I don't think that's such a good idea."

Chuck shook his head and walked toward him.

"You'll like it, trust me."

Michael stared at him for a moment longer before his shoulders slumped and he took Chuck's outstretched hand.

Chuck smiled and pulled them to the world Amara and he hand come from this afternoon.

Michael stared looking around him in confusion.

"It's filled with cats."

Chuck nodded with a smile and held up a key.

Michael looked back and took it looking at him in confusion.

"This is for you, I remember how much you love cats. And you have to do nothing for them. They're fed and healthy. All they need is companionship. Think you can do that?"

Michael went to answer only to look down and blink at a small lion cub.

"Lion."

Chuck grinned at the childlike wonder in Michael's voice.

Michael looked back at Chuck and held up the key.

"Why did you give me only one key?"

Chuck gave a soft smile, even now all Michael worried was that he was his brothers and wanting to show them this.

"Michael I need you to understand something, it's very important. So you need to listen okay?"

Michael nodded his face serious. Chuck took a deep breath and said as firmly as he could.

"You deserve to be happy. To have something that's yours and yours alone. I'm not going to order you to not show your brothers this, but this is a gift for you and you alone. Understand?"

Michael blinked, he looked around at all the many species of cats and then back at Chuck.

"For me?"

Chuck hated how uncertain he sounded. Chuck settled for nodding so he wouldn't cry.

Michael looked down at the lion cub who was looking at him and purring. Michael moved his hand toward her only to stop and looked back at Chuck.

"How long have we been here? I need to make sure —"

"No time at all. There's no time here Michael I didn't get a chance to add that. So whenever you chose to go back you wouldn't have missed anything. Think of it like that everything is paused while you're here."

Michael nodded his legs collapsed as he sat on the floor. Chuck felt panic surge through him worrying that he might have overwhelmed his humble oldest son.

But he stopped and straightened as Michael picked up the lion cub and hugged it.

"I will name you Elliot."

Chuck gave a small relieved smile.

"I think that's a girl son."

Michael opened his eyes and looked down at the cub. His brow furrowed before he smiled.

"Then Eleanor!"

Chuck laughed and nodded. He smiled as he watched as Michael lie on the grass and laugh as some more kittens came and climbed all over him. He giggled as they batted as his wings.

Chuck wiped his eyes, he wasn't sure if the tears were happy from seeing Michael act like the fledging he didn't get a chance to be. Or sad from just how much of a fledgling-hood Chuck had robbed him of.

Michael sat up his legs crossed, kittens crawling and playing on his lap.

"Thanks Dad."

Chuck beamed and nodded before quickly departing. He leaned outside The Bar as he tried to control himself.

This might have been the first time any of his sons had called him dad without it being an insult. Chuck was overjoyed to say the least.

He took a breath and walked in, Amara turned to him from looking up at the monitors.

"So, what did I miss?"

"Nothing much, Lucifer talked to Azazel."

Chuck blinked and furrowed his brow.

"That's it?"

Amara nodded, she turned fully looking worried.

"How is Michael?"

Chuck beamed.

"Much better, he's taking a much needed break."

Chuck smiled and forced all the guilt away and looked toward the couch where Mana was lying on Toto watching them, Metatron sat next to her reading over Chuck's latest chapter.

"Now how is my darling, little niece?!"

Chuck exclaimed walking toward her. Amara watched on with a smile and went to the booth to write her chapter.

It was meant to compliment Chuck's one on Pagans. Only her's answered the age old question:

_"Is there multiple universes? If so, were they created by the same person?"_

The short answer was no. The long one? That was a little more complicated.

She started to type,

_"There are other universes, but just like no planet in this solar system is the same — neither are those universes. Nor are those who created them."_

Amara inhaled and exhaled slowly, it sounded too awkward. She needed to change it.

She deleted that and instead wrote,

_"There is a place at the center of all these universes — it's called the Delta..."_

 

** Mana: **

** **


	20. Breaking Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Chuck and Amara have not moved on as much as they thought they had.

Chuck heard Azazel's words and smiled at it. Raphael had been chosen first by someone. Finally.

"Lucifer."

Chuck watched as Lucifer's shoulders hunched forward his back tensed. Chuck listened as Michael sat in his own Heaven, his eyes closed a smile on his face as he pet a cat and listened to music.

Chuck felt his heart warm a little at that. Good. Michael was taking care of himself.

"Go away."

Chuck shook his head and took a step closer to his son.

"Lucifer i just want to talk."

A picture of Gabriel and the Winchesters pouring over lore flashed through his mind.

He felt the throb in the back his head recede. Gabriel's anger was gone, he was even helping them. Fantastic.

"He chose Raphael, he said he loved me but loved him more. That's what he didn't say. Dad no one loves me.  
Dad no one —"

"Lucifer stop it. I love you. I do!"

Lucifer whirled and shook his head.

"Not like that! Look, I don't want a mate it's a weakness I don't need... But —"

"Lucifer, I think this is two separate issues. One is Azazel choosing Raphael, another is the idea of mates. Am I good so far?"

Lucifer nodded huffing in annoyance.

The flap of wings sounded behind him and Chuck sighed. Lucifer glared at Raphael.

"Come to rub it in my face?"

Raphael closed his eyes and finally shook his head.

"You ask why I chose him, you don't know him. Get to know him, Please?"

Lucifer's eyes narrowed.

"Why are you doing this? Why are you inviting conflict with me?"

Raphael's eyes hardened and he crossed his arms.

"I'm not. Azazel is feeling—"

"Regret?"

Thunder rolled overhead.

"Guilt. So I'm doing it for him. If it was up to me I'd keep you as far from him as I could."

Chuck sighed as Lucifer's glare only intensified.

"Raphael right now might not be the best time. Why don't you go back to him and I'll come find you both okay?"

Raphael huffed and flew off. Chuck turned back and gestured before them.

"Let's go for a walk?"

Lucifer rolled his eyes but fell into step with him.

"I don't know what this walk is going to achieve dad."

"Lucifer do you think I would lie to you?"

Lucifer looked at him for a long moment.

"No."

He said finally. Chuck nodded.

"Good. So look I know you're angry and I get why, but can you be happy for your brother at least?"

Chuck blinked and looked up as he saw snow began to fall.

"I don't like being relegated to an afterthought."

He flew off. Chuck sighed and came back to the apartment and gave a tired smile, pulling Mana into his lap.

"Hey princess."

She snuggled into his arms. Amara paused the tv and gave him a faint smile.

"Lucifer alright?"

Chuck shook his head.

"No, he feels unwanted and unloved which I understand. Raphael extended an olive branch which of course didn't end well. I asked Lucifer if he could be happy for Raphael."

Amara smirked.

"I doubt that's possible when they're not mature enough to have a conversation without it ending with one of them getting stabbed."

Chuck stilled.

"Look, I know you won't understand this because you only have one. But have children is complicated, especially when they're all headstrong."

"Lucifer could have died. How can you think that's a normal reaction?"

Chuck glared at her.

"Because it is, hell you did it to me."

"You were going to lock me away!"

"Ah! Hurts!"

They both froze and looked at Mana. Chuck's eyes widened and he let go as Amara moved and pulled her away. They stared at each other,

"You should go."

"Sister are you kicking me out?"

She gave rueful smile.

"Hurts doesn't it?"

Chuck disappeared.

Amara looked down at Mana in her arms.

"Are you alright hon?"

"It hurt mama. I didn't like it."

Amara hummed.

"It's going to be okay."

She sent her essence through her daughter's body, soothing the burning.

Chuck shoved his hands into his pockets and trudged along. He passed over The Empty, his mind flashing to a woman in blue dress dancing in a club.

He turned away. He wasn't that desperate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you guys cool with OC characters like say an oc archangel which I might or might not include? Tell me if I should!


	21. Introspection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Chuck figures that being a little hands on might not be a bad thing and Amara gets some more insight on the eons they were apart.

Chuck walked along his earth thinking. Asking Lucifer if he was happy for Raphael was the wrong question.

He frowned and looked up blinking as he saw children run and playing, he needed to make Lucifer get to know the other angels. More importantly he needed to make it Lucifer's idea to do so.

He sighs and there in lied the problem. Lucifer didn't care about any of them... Or maybe—

Chuck moved away and found Amara at Normandy.

"They should meet her."

Amara turned, Chuck tried not to flinch as Mana hid behind Amara's dress when she saw him.

He attention instead focused on his sister as she said curtly.

"No."

"Sister —"

She shook her head.

"No. Not till they are not at each other's throats."

"They'll always be at each other's throats!"

He snapped.

"Well then they'll never meet her, will they?"

She turned and flashed away, leaving him alone. He sighed and thought for a moment to himself.

He flashed away, he had another idea.

He found Lucifer again sitting on his throne. He looked up, his expression bored but his eyes alight with interest. Chuck had never visited him here.

Chuck cast a brisk look around before setting his eyes on Lucifer.

"Come on."

Lucifer rolled his eyes but obliged. They walked for a while before Chuck finally spoke.

"Do you care for the other angels?"

Lucifer cast him a glance.

"Not really, no. Why?"

Chuck shrugged.

"If you don't care about them why does it matter if your their first thought or second?"

Lucifer stiffened and looked away.

"I'm glad Raphael is happy."

He finally said.

"Lucifer."

Chuck gently prodded.

Lucifer refused to speak. Chuck sighed.

"It wouldn't hurt to get to know the younger angels."

He said softly. Lucifer's jaw clenched.

"Why should I?"

Chuck shrugged.

"The more you understand someone the easier it is to manipulate them."

Lucifer turned back to him his eyes narrowed into slits.

"Have you ever done that? Have you ever manipulated us?"

Chuck nodded.

"When I wanted you to fight her, I twisted how she was to get you all angry."

Lucifer nodded before shrugging.

"I don't need to get to know them, I am an archangel, they'll fall in line."

Chuck nodded.

"That's true. But speaking from the experience of someone who has that power, you all still don't fall in line. If anything if I use my power as a warning you resent it more and become less loyal."

Chuck turned to stare at Lucifer's profile.

"Right? Or am I wrong on that part?"

Lucifer's lips quirked but he shook his head.

"No your right. I don't need them."

"You're right you don't. But what happens when your brothers start jostling for power?"

Lucifer gave him a wary look.

Chuck gave him a smile.

"I do pay attention, I know you four. Once you all have gotten over ignoring each other you'll try to change Heaven."

Lucifer shook his head.

"You're wrong. I don't want Heaven, Gabriel doesn't care about Heaven and Raphael would never go against Michael."

Chuck shook his head.

"Raphael is getting tired of the infighting. He wants the younger angels to have a voice and Michael wants the younger angels to get to know him. So it's not going to be as rigid as it used to be."

"Gabriel still doesn't care."

Lucifer pointed out.

Chuck nodded.

"For now. And that's because you three are shutting him out."

"He attacked Raphael, he nearly undid all the hard work Michael and I did."

Lucifer spat through gritted teeth. Chuck didn't comment though he felt his skin prickle as he temperature dropped.

"Lucifer, he your little brother. You can't shut him out."

"He refuses to talk to me. That's not my problem."

Chuck shot Lucifer a look.

"Do I need to remind you why it _is_ precisely your problem?"

Lucifer held his gaze for a moment before filling averting his eyes.

"Okay I get it. I'll talk to Gabriel. Happy?"

Chuck shook his head.

"Don't talk to him yet. I want to speak to him first. And coming back to the point, I want you to get to know your younger siblings."

Lucifer bristled.

"Again, I have my power I don't need to get to know them. They all know what happens when they cross me."

Chuck gave him a wary smile.

"Do they? From recent memory it ends well when they leave you. Azazel is very hap—"

"I don't fucking care."

Chuck stopped walking, as did Lucifer albeit reluctantly.

"You know want to know why Azazel ultimately chose Raphael? Here's a hint it's the same reason time and again Castiel chooses the Winchesters even when they take him for granted."

Lucifer's eyes flashed and he crossed his arms.

"Why? Is it something as stupid as family, or love?"

Chuck shook his head.

"It's not. It's loyalty. Yes Azazel chose you because logically it made sense. You are powerful and with you he could grow his skills of persuasion. Something Heaven wouldn't necessarily encourage. But Raphael didn't treat him like a subordinate, he treated him like an equal he —"

"He did? He's a cherub. How is that equal?"

Chuck gave him an exasperated look.

"Lucifer don't be purposefully difficult. Azazel is smart and good on his feet. He could help Raphael think of ways to best help angels who weren't responding the usual methods of treatment —"

Lucifer huffed and rolled his eyes.

"Healing? Is that seriously what Raphael talked to him about?"

Chuck forced his annoyance down. At least Lucifer was engaged in the conversation.

"And about you, Michael and Gabriel."

Chuck felt a flash of satisfaction as Lucifer's indignation lessened to something less hostile and more wary.

"He talked about us to him? Why? We're his brothers. What could some random angel who was born yesterday know about us, about our bond. How dare Raphael —"

"Lucifer breathe. You all used to bicker even back then. And it wasn't just venting. Raphael is sensitive, there were things he wanted to two about that he didn't feel comfortable sharing with you three."

"Like what?"

Lucifer snapped.

"His feelings on your aunt for one. They were somewhat complicated, he hated her yes, but he didn't understand how someone related to me was evil. How anything seen as sharing my blood could be seen as anything other than good."

Lucifer stiffened and looked away.

"So you want me to what? Bare my innermost thoughts to some angel? Is that it?"

Chuck shook his head.

"No, I want you to let them in just a little, just enough for them to see past that icy facade of yours."

"Not funny."

Lucifer said sourly as chuck grinned at his pun. Chuck shrugged.

"Can you do that?"

Lucifer smirked at him.

"You still haven't given me a reason to do so."

Chuck sighed.

"Manipulating them through fear can and will only get you so far Lucifer. Azazel didn't stay with you just out of fear. He stayed because you chose him as your lieutenant above anyone else. You helped him keep going when he was at his lowest."

Chuck pressed trying to remind Lucifer how he had saved Azazel from the hole in Dudael.

"And look how well that worked out, he still betrayed me."

"Did he?"

Chuck pressed two fingers to Lucifer's temple gently. The memory flowed through.

*******

"Raphael, Azazel. I like the place."

Raphael looked up grinning.

"Thanks."

Azazel's figure lurked in the kitchen as Chuck sat across from Raphael.

"Are you alright?"

Raphael stiffened.

"What wound are you referring to? The ones that Gabriel gouged in me? Or the ones that Lucifer intentionally probed?"

Chuck sighed.

"Raphael, you have to at least see where he's coming —"

"Do I? He treated Azazel like a tool. He talks of loving me and yet the minute I ask for anything that slightly interferes with his plans he turns and speaks words that he knows will hurt me."

Chuck closed his eyes briefly.

"I know. And that's wrong of him to do that. If it was also wrong of you to stab him."

Raphael glared at him, he leaned back in the couch his arms crossed.

"Still refusing to see your favorite's flaws I see."

"Raphael don't do that! You know that's not the case."

Azazel flinched as Chuck raised his voice but Raphael didn't budge instead his wings bristled, extending slightly.

"Really? You always did refuse to see him in a bad light."

Chuck sighed and dragged his hand over his face.

"Okay you're clearly still justifiably upset. So I'm going to come back when you've calmed down and more willing to listen."

Raphael glowered at him.

"Don't hold your breath."

Chuck sighed and stood. He flashed outside preparing to go somewhere else when he heard,

"Wait."

Chuck turned to see Azazel standing behind him.

Chuck sighed.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to hold Raphael's anger against him."

Azazel nodded, he looked away he still stock still as if a statue. Finally he met Chuck's gaze.

"D - don't hold it against him either."

Chuck crossed his arms and looked at Azazel.

Azazel sighed harshly and cast a wary look back at the house before glancing at Chuck.

"Don't hold Lucifer's actions against him. He excepts loyalty. He —"

"He hurt his brother on purpose. He hurt your mate, that should count for something Azazel. You made your choice, stick to it."

"Don't you think I know that? Do you seriously think I want to be in this position? I chose Raphael, I chose to walk away from him!

But it's not that simple, Lucifer saw things in me that no one else did! Did you know I used to spend my nights as a Youngling practicing my sword skills? So much so that I'd be exhausted the next day.

Lucifer found me one night and spent the rest of the night helping me. He believed in my potential when my own nest-mates looked at me with pity. He's the one who brought me to Michael's attention.

If Lucifer hadn't found me that day Michael would never have taken me under his wing and taught me.

I know what your going to say, that he never does anything out of kindness that he manipulates everyone.

But I refuse to believe his plans stretched that far back. I refuse to believe that he sought out to use me back then.

Why would he? What purpose could I have served that early on? The Garden wasn't even constricted and Earth was still a molten ball."

Azazel took a breath Chuck saw his opportunity and opened his mouth but Azazel shook his head and kept going.

"I understand why Lucifer is angry, it's not that I chose Raphael, it's not that I left him. It's the fact that now it calls into question everything I ever told or did for him. He now wonders how far back this hold Raphael had on me goes, he now wonders how could have not seen it coming."

Azazel stopped talking his breath coming ragged.

Chuck finally spoke.

"How do you know what he thinks? How do you claim to know that?"

Azazel shrugged, all at once aloof. His guard back up.

"I've had experience with angels whose mates called into question everything they've done up until that point."

Chuck nodded. He leaned back his arms crossed.

"And did you ever reconcile those differences?"

Azazel nodded.

"How?"

Chuck prodded.

"He was loyal to our brotherhood, to our garrison..."

Chuck knew he was intentionally keeping something back. Azazel gulped his eyes challenging as Chuck stared him down. Finally Azazel wilted and complied.

"It also helped that when the inevitable betrayal came it destroyed him. That - those emotions were genuine. He wouldn't think of how his actions would look to me. He always stayed in the moment and in that moment his mate had betrayed him and laid waste to his human family."

Chuck nodded and let out a deep breath.

"Alright, I'll make sure to keep that in mind. But you heard Raphael, he thinks I'm already acting biased."

Azazel shook his head.

"If you were truly trying to be biased you would have torn more into Raphael for attacking him."

Chuck nodded.

"True."

*******

Chuck pulled his hand away at that. There was more to that scene but it wasn't important to the conversation Lucifer and he was having.

Lucifer blinked and took a step back. He looked away his jaw clenching.

"He thinks I care about him."

"Don't you?"

"Samael did. Samael loved him. I, however cared for as long as he was useful. I've washed my hands of him and his ilk."

Chuck closed his eyes willing the heartache and tears away. It killed him to hear Lucifer to refer to his Heavenly name as a different person, as someone who didn't exist. As someone who was weak for loving his family.

Chuck form rippled unseen to his son. He flinched when Amara pushed him away.

_"This is your fault. You're the one who insisted on locking me away. It's not my fault Lucifer wasn't strong enough to handle my power."_

She hissed in his ear.

_"And it's your fault that Mana is hurt. It's not my fault that she couldn't handle mine."_

He murmured back.

The pain between blossomed. Chuck turned away from that and focused on his second eldest. He needed one more card, he needed something to make Lucifer care.

"Lucifer what do you want?"

"Besides humanity's demise?"

He replied back dryly. Chuck refused to engage in that old argument.

"Yes. Yes besides that, what do you want?"

Lucifer stared at him calculatingly.

"Why? What are you offering?"

"Besides humanity what else do you want?"

Chuck asked instead.

Lucifer reminded quiet for a long time. So much so Chuck decided to move them to The Bar, sighing inwardly to see Metatron and Toto gone. No doubt with Amara.

Chuck sat at his computer and typed while Lucifer drank at the wet bar and occasionally threw him a glance.

"What else is there?"

Lucifer finally countered. Chuck paused and looked back at him.

"You don't seriously mean that."

Lucifer shrugged. But his words came quicker this time.

"My opinion hasn't changed on them. It is what I want."

"You sure you don't just want it because I wrote that?"

Lucifer shot him a glance.

"Positive."

He said evenly, draining another glance.

"Lucifer I wrote a part for you each to play. Michael the defender of Heaven and humanity, you the great adversary on the eternal quest to tempt, seduce and destroy humanity. Both of you destined to meet on the field of battle where the the fate of Humanity and the universe would be decided."

"What the hell was that?"

Lucifer asked staring at him incredulously. Chuck shrugged giving him a sheepish smile.

"The back of the book summary of the battle you both would eventually have in my head. At least it was before the Winchester came into being."

Lucifer simply rolled his eyes.

"It sounds overdone."

Chuck remained undeterred.

"So you don't want to be officially forgiven? You don't want to come home? You don't mind the other angels seeing you as evil incarnate —"

"That was just a propaganda play by you. I told them as much. It's not my fault if they refuse to believe me."

"So you are perfectly happy to have Heaven remain unchanged, still punishing anyone who doesn't fall in line or has a different opinion? Because if you aren't happy and you still did nothing to change Heaven when you had the chance any consequences that happen as a result land directly on your shoulders."

Lucifer shifted uncomfortably.

"You said Michael and Raphael are trying to be different."

"I did, but you know them. When push comes to shove they would rather squash dissent than try to understand it."

Lucifer stood and walked to bookshelves instead of answering.

"There's nothing you can do to change their opinion, not after this long."

He said softly an hour or so later. Chuck looked up noting his bloodshot eyes. The alcohol was doing its job, it was spiked after all (not that Lucifer needed to know that).

"I can't no. But you can. Raphael and Castiel are trying to mend their relat—"

"Castiel is hated as much as I am. He is hardly a worthwhile example of change."

Chuck gave Lucifer a sad smile.

"I meant Raphael Lucifer. You know how stubborn he can be, but he's trying to —"

"Why? Why does he suddenly care about some low level angels?"

"Would you like to ask him?"

Lucifer shrugged. Chuck nodded and flashed to find Raphael watching tv Azazel fast asleep on his lap. Raphael look up and lowered the TV as he appeared. Chuck shook his head and beckoned him to come.

Raphael slowly stood, gently tucking a blanket around Azazel before turning to follow Chuck outside.

"Lucifer wants to talk you."

Raphael sighed and crossed his arms.

"Azazel told me what he said to you."

Chuck rose an eyebrow.

"Oh really?"

Raphael nodded.

"We finally talked about, well, everything and during it he told me."

Chuck nodded and sent him a small smile.

"I take it went well?"

Raphael flashed a grin and looked away. A blush slowly blooming from his neck to his cheeks.

"Very well."

Chuck nodded.

"Shall we?"

Raphael nodded.

Chuck paused outside.

"Hate to ruin the mood but has Gabriel talked to you yet?"

Raphael stiffened and shook his head. Chuck sighed and nodded.

"I'll talk to him."

"I thought you didn't like to get involved."

Chuck cast him a tired glance.

"I don't. But in the span of 24 hours you all went from getting along to nearly killing each other. I'm just trying to return it back to the equilibrium."

"How do you know this isn't it?"

Chuck gave him a look and motioned him inside.

Lucifer turned and stopped. He and Raphael stared at each other, waiting for the other to the make the first move.

Chuck rolled his eyes and went back to his booth to continue writing.

Lucifer sighed and slid a glass toward a stool next to him. As Raphael approached it he spoke.

"Why are you caring about the lower tier angels?"

"Because they deserve to have a voice."

"Raphael, please don't insult me. It might have been a while but I know you don't think like —"

"Like what? Like in terms of what could be best for Heaven? Like in terms of how to avoid a civil war?"

"Ah, there it is. You don't care about them. You just don't want to deal with anymore fighting."

Lucifer said pointing a finger at him. Raphael rolled his eyes.

"That's hardly news Lucifer. I've hated the fighting from the beginning. But back then it had a purpose. There was a goal, if we won dad would come back. If we won we could be a family again."

Chuck glanced at them in time to see Lucifer still and give Raphael a cautious glance.

"You still consider me family?"

Raphael looked at him bewildered.

"Of course I do."

Lucifer looked into his glass draining it before filing it again.

"Why? I broke us apart. I made Dad leave. I took Azazel from you."

Raphael looked away.

"Azazel isn't wholly innocent there. He knew what he was doing. But thank you for acknowledging it."

Lucifer shrugged.

"You didn't answer my question Raphael."

"For there to be a why there had to be a point where you stopping being it Lucifer. You were always family. It was never something that ceased to be true."

"Really? Your opinion didn't change even when you started to count Dad as dead?"

Raphael shrugged.

"Maybe I had more love for you than faith in him."

Chuck wasn't prepared for how much that hurt. He subtly shifted his, his fingers digging into the computer keys underneath them.

Lucifer didn't seem fazed by the admission. Instead he turned to hold Raphael's gaze and asked in a whisper.

"And when I killed Gabriel? Your opinion didn't change then?"

Raphael didn't look away.

"It shifted. That's when I knew Samael had truly died in you. That's when I knew my brother was dead. But to your earlier question you were still family, a member of the family that I hated and mourned but family none the less."

"Why? Why call me family when it does nothing for you?"

Raphael glared at him.

"It _does_ do something for me. If I held onto the belief that no matter how twisted you became you were still family then I knew  
was going to be okay.

If I knew that to be true then I knew I was still strong enough to stand by Michael's side - even if sometimes I felt so weak that I had trouble just holding myself up.

If I knew that to be true then I knew still cared enough to believe that reeducation was the right thing to do - no matter how much it made me prickle with unease and nausea.

I knew if I was still capable of loving you there was no way I would fall. Because isn't that what happened to Father? He had to lock our aunt away because she was evil and going to kill us, but even then, even when he plotted against her he still loved her. Why else would our victory leave him weeping on the ground?"

Chuck closed his eyes the memory fresh in his mind as if it had just happened. The cage sealing shut the ground rushing to meet him as he collapsed in sobs. The brief respite from the crushing guilt as his children came to hug him.

Chuck opened his eyes and forced himself to pay attention to his sons and not on the memories swirling in his head.

Lucifer stared into his glass.

"The others don't see me as that, as family. They probably don't even see me as an angel."

"They do. Uriel did."

Raphael quickly said.

Lucifer cast him an annoyed look.

"Uriel is but one angel."

"Yes but the others do feel the same way they just need to remember."

Lucifer snorted taking a sip of his glass.

"You sound like Gabriel. It was just like him to be eternally optimistic."

Raphael looked away his hands clenching on the bar top.

"Yes it was."

Lucifer looked from Raphael's hands to his head turned away.

"I take it you two haven't talked?"

"I have no reason to go to him, he's the one who needs to apologize."

Lucifer slowly reached over and thread his fingers with Raphael's.

"He's stubborn."

"And? I see no reason to go to him. He's acting like a child."

"Michael and I haven't talked to him either in case you were wondering."

Raphael looked back with raised eyebrows.

"Really you haven't? Not even to plan one of your pranks?"

Lucifer shrugged.

"I haven't thought to plan any pranks. But it's not me or Michael he would want to speak to."

Raphael clenched his jaw.

"No. I refuse to indulge his childish behavior."

Lucifer shrugged and drained his glass.

"Suit yourself. Do you love me now?"

Raphael's hand tightened around Lucifer's fingers.

"I'm starting to again. It's easier than I hoped. And you? Do you still consider me family? Do you still love me?"

Lucifer looked at him startled.

"Of course I do. Never stoped."

"We let you fall. We let you not only kill Gabriel but I let you and Michael fall in the cage."

"You were trying to get the power to open the cage again though."

"To get Michael out, to restart the apocalypse. I wasn't thinking of you."

"I still love you Raphael, you're my little brother. Nothing can change that. Besides I blamed dad more than I did you or Michael."

Raphael nodded.

"Care to answer one more question for me?"

Raphael eyed him warily.

"What it is?"

"You say you still consider me family. You say you still love me. But do you forgive me for everything I've done?"

Raphael watched him cautiously but Lucifer simply blinked at him.

"Yes."

Lucifer stared at him for a long moment before moving a wing around Raphael's shoulders.

"No caveat? No conditions? Just yes?"

Raphael nodded.

"Yes."

Lucifer shook his head.

"Do you think they could do that? Forgive me?"

"Do you want their forgiveness?"

"I want them to stop treating me like I have no feelings. I want them to stop looking at me as if being in my mere presence will corrupt them."

"Then may I suggest starting slow?"

Lucifer and Raphael turned to look at him.

Chuck continued.

"Ease into it, it's not going to happen overnight Lucifer."

Lucifer looked away.

"It's not a weakness to yearn for the love of family."

Raphael said softly.

"It's what I wanted more than anything."

Raphael continued.

Lucifer sighed and nodded.

"Alright. I'll give it a try, if only to appease you both."

He flew off.

Raphael snorted looking back at him.

"He acts as if we were begging him to get involved."

Chuck laughed and nodded.

"I know. Me forbid he actually wants something that is not war, destruction or chaos."

Raphael laughed at that. He sobered after a moment.

"I'll reach out to Gabriel."

Chuck smiled and nodded at him before standing.

"Alright you can stay here or go back to Azazel but I'm going to be on Earth okay?"

Raphael nodded. Chuck flashed away to Earth.

"Did you really break down crying after you sealed me away?"

Chuck spun to see Amara watching him.

He nodded.

"Yes. Of course I did."

Chuck sighed and spoke again.

"Look I'm so sorry, I truly didn't mean to hurt her. Please let me see her. I promise I won't show her to the arches until you're ready for it."

Amara gave him a small smile and nodded flashing them to their apartment. Chuck knelt on the ground a little ways away from Mana.

"Hey Princess."

Mana eyed him warily before slowly grinning and running into his arms.

"Unca!"

Chuck scooped her up and held her tightly.

"I'm here Princess. I'm here Mana. I'm not going anywhere."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I've been neglecting Amara, I'll feature her more in the next chapter I promise!


	22. Getaway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Amara and Chuck go on a little mini vacation to get away from all the drama.

Amara tugged Chuck along.

"Where are we going?"

"Away, I think we both need a break."

Chuck nodded, he probably shouldn't leave but his children were getting along, and besides they could be taxing at times — or all the time.

They flashed through his Universe both of them pausing as they came upon The Empty.

"Should we?"

Chuck wanted to protest but bit his tongue, he was just as curious as she was.

"Sure, might as well."

Amara led the way, moving past the void, and the bundle of souls that called out to her, she jumped slightly when she felt Chuck lace around her.

"It's okay, they're at peace Sister."

Amara sent him a grateful smile before tuning back and continuing.

They scenery changed or more accurately something appeared.

The mist cleared and a girl stared up at them, their hair was black and silver their eyes held many colors, many of them nameless.

They stood, their form smoothly turning into that of a grown woman.

They looked to the side, a wall of innumerable screens appeared, they paused them.

They turned back to them.

"Children."

"Ma."

Amara and Chuck greeted. They looked at each other before Chuck turned back and asked.

"Why did you save us?"

They blinked at them.

"He was a mistake, he was an error. I corrected an error."

Chuck and Amara flinched, their voice hadn't risen an octave but it still sounded as if they'd yelled.

"How had Damien —"

"No names, it is a frivolous concept I will not tolerate daughter."

Amara ducked her head and nodded.

"How was Chaos able to come into our plain? The plains are separated are they not? We can't effect each other."

They blinked at them again.

"Yes and no. The plains I give you are yours, however that does not mean it is impenetrable. If one of you were desperate enough you can find a way through."

"Ma, that doesn't explain how he knew what was happening in our plain."

Chuck pointed out.

They blinked again and looked at one of the screens.

"See for yourself."

A screen un-paused and showed a powerful ripple going through Damien's void. He seemed shaken and then looked angry as the waves got stronger and he suddenly spun in terror as he saw a gray wave moving toward him.

Chuck and Amara gasped. The Balance.

Damien found the weak spot and dived through as the waved moved where he'd been.

"Chaos did not do anything so I let him stay, then he started disrupting the balance so I acted."

They said looking back at Chuck and Amara.

Amara blinked and took a breath.

"You speak of balance why didn't you save me?"

"You were there, you're power still acted. It was still balanced. My interference was unneeded."

Chuck moved forward opening his mouth.

"Ma I —"

"Goodbye Children."

They blinked feeling themselves being ejected from The Void and back into their apartment.

Chuck stumbled backward and looked at the TV show Mana was watching. It was The Secret Garden. Mary was walking sorrowfully when the caretaker gave her a key, to something she'd cherish for the red to her life.

Chuck blinked before nodding and coming to a decision.

"I think it's time Gadreel comes back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!! Hurray! I have a couple ideas in the works so hopefully everything will be updated soon.
> 
> Thanks for being patient. :)


	23. Summer Vacation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Chuck and Amara go to Europe for a month long vacation, and secrets are revealed that once again test their bond to each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this adds some of my more original elements, let me know what you guys think. It's the first time I'm putting in a fanfic. 
> 
> Enjoy!

"I'm sorry, what do you mean Lucifer wasn't the first archangel you locked away?"

Chuck shrugged and ate another macaroon. He avoided Amara's glare.

"It's complicated."

"Try me."

"Look, he just - he needed to be locked away for his own protection. He was hurting too many angels and it was only a matter of time when he'd get hurt by them."

Amara sighed and shook her head. She stood from the little table, the Paris street melted away to be replaced by the Swiss Alps.

"Ever done skiing?"

"No, but I'm not adverse to trying it."

Chuck said coming to stand next to her. Amara kept her gaze in front of her. His mysterious archangel nagged at her, but it would do no good to press her brother.

He would just give the bare minimum of an answer.

They equipped themselves to skis and began to practice, quickly getting the hang of it.

They went down a Black Diamond slope while chatting about something called Angry Birds.

_"It sounds like a stupid idea."_

_"That's because you don't have an iPhone."_

_"Were beings, we don't need technology."_

_"We have laptops."_

_"I have a laptop. You have a dinosaur."_

_"Hey!"_

Amara laughed and sped up, swerving to hit him with snow, making him zigzag before gaining his footing.

She finished a few minutes ahead of him and watched as he eased his way down, and came to rest next to her.

"What do you think of him?"

Amara turned her head to see the instructor who'd trained them both, she smiled remembering how her brother stuttered through the first few minutes of the interaction.

"He's cute. Not as cute as —"

"If you say Dean I'm going to throw an avalanche at you."

"I was going to say Zeus."

She smirked when Chuck shuddered.

"What do you see in a egomaniac like that?"

Amara's eyes glittered.

"Potential. He's easy to control and manipulate."

Chuck chuckled and nodded.

"That he is."

He said as they appeared in their suite at the lodge. He was wrestling with the clothes while Amara just snapped them off her. She'd gotten better at focusing her power.

And no, to anyone who thought Chuck helped, he didn't.

Amara shook her head, trying to dislodge the ice and snow and looked up as she saw Chuck disappear into the bathroom.

"I want to see him when you're done."

Chuck sighed and came back and looked at her.

"Fine, but allow me to tell you his story first."

"Fine. Hurry up."

Chuck flipped her off and went to take a shower. Amara extended her sense to Gadreel and the rest of the angels. She shook her head at the argument between Azazel and Gadreel.

When will they learn arguments don't solve anything?

They'd both decided to take a vacation to Europe for the summer, telling the angels they'd be gone for a month, if longer they'd call. So far in the two weeks they'd been gone there hadn't been a nuclear disaster. So they were counting it as progress.

Chuck exited the shower and beckoned her to go in after him. She gave him a look.

"You're stalling."

"Yup."

As Amara exited the shower a half an hour later Chuck was waiting for her. He motioned for her to sit down.

"What did you find about Hell when you were there?"

"That it wasn't always so.. ugly. That there was a native population there, that it used to be beautiful."

Chuck nodded.

"I think your magic made it, like they made the black holes. They were a proud people, they had royalty and flowers and loyalty."

He sighed.

"They believed in a Mother. In you."

Amara shifted uncomfortably.

"What does this have to do with your secret archangel?"

"He and another angel, Urael was playing in one of their territories. They captured Urael a seraph and threatened Mesh. Told him if you ever bring any angels here we will kill him.

The other Seraphim thought he'd killed Urael and wanted him to die —"

"Why? What did Mesh do that was so terrible? And how could he believe that?"

Chuck looked away.

"He was a child, he was naive."

Amara glared.

"Tell me you didn't lock up a child."

He didn't say anything for a long beat of silence.

"I did. He's done other things before. Hurting Zadikel, twisting Abraxiel's wings when she was a fledging. This seemed just like the next escalated step."

"But you knew differently."

She didn't know who those other angels were, but she guessed they were important for them to be named.

"Either way, is he really that dangerous to other angels?

"I did know differently but - but - I - I don't know, I wanted to see if he'd do anything. Urael is still alive, he kept the demon who took him alive. They're happy together."

Amara rose her eyebrow.

"A demon and angel? That's going to end well for everyone."

Chuck laughed and shrugged.

"It will if no one knows."

He gave her a look.

She stood and smoothed her loose top and leggings out.

"Lets meet this Mesh."

Chuck sighed and nodded.

The scene changed and they were under the main jail, a part of Heaven that no one but the archangels knew existed.

Chuck walked down a dim hallway. He passed what looked to be another cell with a sleeping occupant in it.

_"Don't mind him, not yet. He's another story."_

_"A happy or sad one?"_

_"Do you really think any of these are happy stories?"_

Chuck thought pausing to look at her. She shrugged and shook her head.

_"No. But I was hoping I was wrong."_

Chuck turned back to cell he stood in front of, it was at the end of the corridor and appeared to be more spacious than the other one.

Amara could make out rafters and a window seat.

He rapt on one of the metal bars sharply.

"Meshabber."

Gold eyes appeared in the darkness.

"Daddy?"

The voice was soft before the figure came closer. He seemed to be well taken care of. His brown hair was kept long to his shoulders but looked to have no split ends or tangles.

His pale blue eyes regarded them both warily.

His robes weren't rags and looked to be lovingly mended over and over again.

"What do you two want? Is Mica okay?"

Meshabber asked gripping the bars and titling his head.

Chuck nodded.

"Michael is fine. Amara wanted to meet you. She didn't like what I did to you."

Meshabber blinked and looked between them again.

"Your song is soft, like silk and a night's breeze."

Amara looked at Chuck for an explanation.

"He's the Angel of Shattering. He can reconstruct broken memories or break them down. He claims that every being has a song, that once the memories are reconstructed can be heard. I've never heard it."

Amara gasped, an idea coming to her.

"Reeducation. He could save them all."

Chuck nodded. He'd thought of the same idea.

"I know, he refuses to help. He wants to be free first."

Meshabber nodded and turned to Chuck.

"Your song hasn't changed, there's still trumpets and drums and the choir of my siblings. A bit over the top don't you think?"

"Hush Meshabber."

"Yes Daddy. Sorry Daddy."

Meshabber said ducking his head.

Amara tugged Chuck away.

"He's afraid of you. Why?"

She asked turning to him.

Chuck rubbed the back of his neck.

"The only angel he ever cared about was Michael. I did his trial behind closed doors without his siblings there. You won't know Zadikel, he was created after you were locked away. Poor kid, he had nightmares after what Meshabber did to him."

Amara gave him a wary glance, her essence twisted uneasily. There had been something broken about Meshabber. Something missing.

"What did he do?"

"Let the leviathan play with him, they ignored Meshabber but not Zadikel. He had nightmares for weeks after. It's worse when you think that Zadikel as the older one could have hated Meshabber like the rest of them did, but he didn't.

Much later on he helped Meshabber, becoming his therapist for Heaven."

"What happened to him?

"He stepped down as an archangel after Gadreel was locked away. And he fled soon after Gadreel died. I need to go find him soon. Poor thing has been in love with Gadreel for eons."

Amara shook her head, she was letting him distract her.

"What happened at the trial Brother?"

She said softly.

"I threatened him. He wasn't scared about the jail sentence so I said if he didn't behave Michael would pay for it."

The air around them thickened, pressing down on him. His light pushed back.

This one hit closer than the others did. She felt a connection with this child, he hadn't done anything wrong and Chuck had locked him away. Like her, like Death, like... Lucifer?

She pushed the thought away, the Morningstar wasn't going to be forgiven that easily. Especially when he insisted on being such a pompous brat.

"I know, I know, it was a risk on my part as well. Michael loves him, dare I say more than he does Lucifer. If there was ever a reason Michael would fall, it would be for him."

Chuck sighed and looked at her.

"I know you don't agree; but get to know him you'll see then what I'm talking about."

"That he's an innocent child who didn't know any better?"

She snapped disappearing to their lodge. She moved toward the instructor her brother had pointed out earlier and sauntered over to him.

It was a unhanded move but she was angry at him and wasn't in the mood to hear his side of the argument.

Chuck sighed and went back to their hotel room and laid down, he closed his eyes. He might have been wrong about a lot of things but not this.

Meshabber was too dangerous to be set free.

**Meshabber's Age At The Trial:**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone wants the bonus chapter of them meeting the Ski Instructor let me know!


	24. The Epic Chess Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Chuck and Amara play an epic game of chess and try to deal with the latest drama from the angels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have no idea what's going on or haven't been following my other work, I suggest you please read the latest chapter of No More - they're more connected than usual.
> 
> Enjoy! ;)

"Amara, wait."

Amara turned from the instructor to see Chuck at the far end of the atrium.

_*I know what you're doing. Don't. Please.*_

_*Promise you'll consider releasing him.*_

_*I promise.*_

Amara stepped away from the bewildered human and went toward her brother.

"Now what?"

"Now we enjoy the remainder of our vacation."

Chuck tried to block out Meshabber's fury at the latest drama kicked off. He sighed, tomorrow wasn't going to fun he could already tell.

Between Mesh, Gabriel and Castiel it would be a miracle he if he wasn't drinking by noon.

"Let's play chess."

Amara said walking back to the elevators to take them back to their suite.

"You know chess?"

"I taught myself."

She said as they made their way from the elevators to their room. She got a chess board and set the pieces up, grinning at the black pieces.

She let him make the first move. They both used the clocks. All was quiet for the next few hours. Amara gritted her teeth more than once at her brother's underhanded tactics.

He shrugged.

"I play to win."

"No, you play with no integrity."

"Hey!"

She smirked at him and moved her bishop.

"Check mate."

Chuck blinked and looked at the board in shock.

"Wha - how??"

"You seem distracted Brother."

As he scanned the board again he cursed, there was blatant points he could have taken advantage and won, damn his children and their never ending ability to create problems.

"I am, it's nothing to worry about. Gabriel says Castiel wants to talk."

"Isn't he the last one?"

"Yes."

Though there were others he could go talk to, others he should talk too. Though he didn't see it as an immediate concern to bring them in, not when the drama was starting to swirl again.

The next morning he got ready and decided to leave Castiel for last.

He met Gabriel at a candy shop. Though Gabriel stood outside, his hands in his pockets, staring at the pavement.

"Gabriel? Son, what is it?"

He doubted he knew about Mesh and Michael's mounting fury.

"I - I'm just wondering if I made the right decision."

"About what?"

Chuck asked guiding him gently to a bench.

"Why didn't you ask me about him like you asked Raphael?"

Chuck pursed his lips. Honestly it hadn't registered in his mind to ask. Raphael radiated a brokenness - a need for someone. Gabriel hadn't.

There was also the small note that Gabriel had been furious, there had been no time to talk about anything else.

"You had other focuses and I didn't think you would have wanted to talk about something so personal right off the bat with the way you were."

Gabriel nodded.

"Yeah, yeah I guess I was."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"I just don't know what do. I like Castiel but - I - I can't get Harviel out of my head."

Chuck nodded, he had boyfriends, girlfriends but never a mate or as the humans called them - husbands, wives.

He was out of his depth here.

"Well, do you want him back? What does Castiel think of all of this?"

Gabriel gave a dry chuckle.

"He doesn't know."

"Gabriel —"

"Look, I didn't come for a lecture, but something Azazel said keeps playing in my mind...."

Chuck waited for him to elaborate.

Gabriel looked up at him.

"Do you even know how our process works?"

Chuck shrugged.

"I mean, I know the basics, but you all were the ones who came up with all the rules and the claimants, not me."

"We promise our everything to each other, he is mine as I am his no matter what. That's the promise. That's the agreement."

Chuck shifted uncomfortably. It sounded a tad unhealthy to him. Though he doubted it was his place to say anything.

"Right. Well, I think you should talk to Castiel first, see if you both can't just work this out yourselves."

Gabriel nodded and rubbed a hand over his face.

"Thanks... I guess. I - I guess that's the best idea."

Chuck nodded and patted his shoulder reluctantly standing.

"Sorry I couldn't be of more help but I have other problems to deal with."

Gabriel nodded, deep in thought.

"Talk to him first, he seemed really shaken by Mortia. I'll talk to him after."

Chuck nodded squeezing his shoulder and meeting Amara who was waiting for him to go to see Meshabber.

"Let's go?"

He nodded.

"Yeah, lets go."

They appeared in front of Meshabber's cell. Amara hung back as Chuck went inside.

Meshabber didn't acknowledge her, he barely acknowledged Chuck.

"Why?"

He asked softly, his brown eyes amber in the dark.

Chuck sighed and sat down on the hard wooden chair facing the twin sized bed against the wall.

"Why? What did the children ever do to you? Or was it that you hated that I even had a chance at happiness? At being a better father than you ever were!!"

Chuck closed his eyes briefly.

"Mesa, stop it. I didn't do anything, it wasn't up to me. It was free will —"

Meshabber lunged moving to strangle him, he screamed when Chuck pushed him to his knees.

"Don't attack me Meshabber it doesn't help your case. You don't want Michael to get hurt do you?"

Meshabber hissed but he leaned away.

"Me?! That's the threat you've been using to hold him down?!"

Chuck turned to see Michael at the front of the cell doors, his wings were out and his eyes were furious.

"Yes."

Michael growled low.

"I FUCKING HATE YOU. HOW **_DARE_** YOU?? I stood by while you threw Amitiel out, while you threw Samael out, while you locked Meshabber away! But _this —_ he was a _**child**_ Father!! He —"

"Amitiel was thrown out for speaking a lie, a lie that infected my Samael, and Meshabber if left unchecked would have broken more than just a wing or two. He nearly let Zadikel die, or have you forgotten how your little brother looked after the leviathans were done with him?"

"I —"

"Let me remind you,"

Chuck said standing and walking nonchalantly toward him.

"Chucks of his grace were missing or mangled, his wings were torn and bleeding, bent at odd angles. His face was cut with claw marks and he had nightmares for weeks afterword."

He leaned against the bars and looked at his eldest son.

"While you were busy coddling him."

He gestured to Meshabber.

"It fell to the rest of your siblings to take care of him, who helped him through that time."

Michael hissed at him.

"What about Lucifer? He's been allowed home, he's been forgiven for what he's done, why not Meshabber??"

Chuck shrugged.

"Because I don't see him changing. And frankly the fact that he can't be controlled is worrying."

He side stepped his son's and went toward Amara where she was waiting in the dark.

"You didn't warn me."

"That isn't why I came. You have to give him a reason to exert some control Brother. He is apathetic - he needs a reason to care."

"A better one than Michael's safety?"

She reluctantly nodded. Chuck turned to look at Michael who held Meshabber in his arms tightly, speaking to him softly in enochian.

"A month. I'm giving you a month, don't screw it up."

Meshabber nodded.

"What do you say?"

"Yes sir, thank you Daddy."

Chuck nodded and disappeared pulling his sister with him.

"You hate him."

She said flatly.

"I hate what he represents."

"Which is?"

Chuck didn't answer her. He didn't even really know. Something about him rubbed him the wrong way. He wasn't a tragic story, there was no reason he should have been that cruel towards any of his siblings. He was just... born like that, made like that. It worried him, was this where psychopathy in humans came from? The ones who were born with little to no emotions? Did beings like them who didn't feel love deserve his love in return?

He shook his head trying to clear his dizzying thoughts. This wasn't helping anyone. He'd given him a week, he'd given him a way to redeem himself. It was up to him if he wanted to take that opportunity or not.

Chuck veered away from the diner and landed in the bunker the boys looked at him in surprise but smiled.

He nodded at them distractedly. Something about today made him realize something. They were still running, himself included.

Mesh from the mistakes he's made, from the darkness that lurked inside of him.

Gabriel from the lost love he'd once had and the siblings he still had.

And himself? He was running from his mistakes, from the children he'd abandoned and whose names he'd let get swept up and buried by time.

"There's not just four archangels. There's eight."

Sam and Dean stared at him wide eyed. Sam opened his laptop and looked at Chuck.

"Tell us about them."

Chuck nodded and sagged into a chair.

"Michael, my general, the first archangel and the viceroy of Heaven. Samael, my light-bringer and the song of Heaven. Phanuel, my caretaker, and the guardian of Heaven. Raphael, my healer and the wrath of Heaven. Gabriel, my messenger, and the laughter of Heaven. Zadikel, my therapist and the intelligence of Heaven."

He took a breath, drumming his fingers on the chair. The two other occupants in the room leaned toward him unconsciously.

"Meshabber, my witness, and the tuner of Heaven, and Amitiel my confidant, and the heart of Heaven."

He stood before they could answer anymore questions and appeared in the diner he looked up as he heard someone enter and he nodded at the greeting.

"Hello Castiel. I hear you wanted to speak to me?"

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts? Suggestions? Put it in the comments below!!


End file.
